Godyears: August 2012

The Ballet

In pink, she floats before my eyes. She leaps up, 'claps' with her feet and lands in one single graceful movement. Once more, I wonder what my role is standing beside her, trying unsuccessfully to stay in sync with her.

"Chechi!"

"What, Jinx ?" I ask. I already know the answer and try in vain to redeem myself by swaying my own arms and balancing myself with one leg bent at the knee.

Graceful. Very graceful.

Like a rhino.

"You're stopping in between. How am I supposed to concentrate like this ?" Of course, she has yet to miss a step as she reprimands me. In the background the instrumental of 'Someday my Prince will come' from the Snow White movie plays on, waxing and waning as though trying to keep pace with her graceful movements.

"I'm sorry. Ok, so the order is jump, hit legs, land, then right leg back, then long turn sideways with leg extended, right ?"

As she continues her routine and I gamely try to copy her, I hear her speak between measured breaths. "It's Shahnzj-mahn. Ah-rah-besk. Grahn peer-whet."

Changement. Arabesque. Grand pirouette.

I shake my head gently. Even the words coming out of this home-bred Keralite girl I call my little sister are now seasoned with French dressing. I choose to ignore it. We are of the same blood, but we are nothing alike, I know. Where I am a natural introvert, Jhanki is fast showing signs of inheriting dad's genes and love for grandeur. In a way, I'm glad for her.

"Ah-dazj'-eh-oh." She commands. Adagio .

I sigh in relief as we both turn slowly in tune with the music in the background. Ironically, even here, I find myself half a second behind her.

"So how's school life ?" I ask, needing two breaths just to complete the sentence.

"It's okay. Biology is fun, but I hate organic chemistry."

"I know, right ? All those carbon molecules just jumping around. Ion bond, covalent bond."

"Seriously. Who needs these things ?"

"Nobody. Unless you become a mad scientist." Not even a giggle. She is too engrossed in the music, I console myself.

The tune gently builds up and so does my trepidation. Here we go again. Three-two-one. Glide. One leg in front of the other. Jump and change legs in mid-air before landing. Glide across the room gently. Right arm outstretched.

"And friends ?"

"Umm.. okay."

"That's it ? Okay ?" Slow half-circle. One leg bent. Sway hip. Leg down.

"Vijay told me he likes me."

"That's nice." Slow half-circle the other way. Repeat.

"Liiiikes me." She says, stretching the 'i's.

"Oh.... ohhh." I say. Big help I am. "Do you like him ?"

I watch her as she carries on her routine in front of me without missing a beat. "Yes."

Again, I'm lost for words. What do I possibly tell her ?

"It's okay. I stopped talking to him."

"What ? But why would you..."

"tahn rehl-leh-vay." she commands. Temps releve.

She extends one leg, with her other leg bent and slowly rises back up. I follow suit and just about manage to avoid falling on my tush.

"Jinx. Why did you stop talking to him if you like him."

She twirls around, her gaze avoiding mine and then slowly glides to the corner of the room. The music slows down once more and she gently sways back, her arms clasped above her head, reaching for the stars.

"Jinx."

"Because of mom and dad." she says simply, again her eyes avoiding mine.

I take in the gravity of what she has just said. She's right. In my school days, I would have never told my parents. They would have wrung my neck, I imagined. Even now, as an adult, the thought of confronting Papa and Mama about guys was akin to signing a death warrant.

"You told them ? What did they say ?"

She sways gently to her side, her entire body weight seeming for a brief moment to rest on that leg before returning back.

"I didn't tell them."

"You just said you told them."

"No, I didn't."

"Then what ?"

"I said no because I don't want to end up like Papa and Mama."

It feels as though I've been slapped. I can feel my heart pounding and I know it's not because of this dance routine.

"Don't stop dancing. Please."
More than the request, it is the last word that forces me to start moving again. There is no force behind the word; it is neither a demand nor statement.
It is a plea.

I sense the music building up once more, the third high peak within the song before it fades. I prepare myself and for the first time today, we are in unison as we make a cross - moving to the front, left, back and right again - before circling our right legs and twirling.

En croix.

"You don't look at Papa and Mama and decide. Just because their marriage isn't happy doesn't mean yours and mine will be the same. It doesn't mean you should stay away from guys altogether." Twirl, reach for the ceiling, left arm in semi-circle, turn on left leg.
Again two sisters in unison.

"But what if it does end up like that ? They are always fighting. You don't know. You go to college and just come like this for a few days in between. I have to sit and listen to them every evening. It's not fair."

I resist the urge to stop, continuing our ballet as I speak. "I know I can't be there for you always. Right now, you're coming straight back from school to this and you think this is all there is. Trust me, it isn't. Things will get better for you. Papa and Mama are too far gone. I know that. I've always known that. But your life is just starting - it's your decision how you want to be affected by what you see. You can choose to be the turtle and hide inside the shell or you can be the eagle and soar high above it all, making your own path."

We continue to dance, our steps incredibly still finding a synchronized rhythm. She doesn't acknowledge it and neither do I.

"In the years to come, you will come across many who like you and many more who don't. If you turn your back on the former and keep learning from the latter, then you will reach nowhere in life. This is just a guy saying he likes you. And you like him too. It's a nice thing, not the end of the world. If you shut yourself off to everything nice just because you're scared of what you've seen, you'll end up an old irritating granny... like, well... Granny. Don't be that way. You're better than that. You're the smart kid, remember ?"
As she pirouettes, our synchronization finally gives way and I'm glad. It allows me to see her as she faces me when she turns and I see what I'm looking for - a familiar chubby smile.

"Granny really is cranky, isn't she ?"
"She's nuts, Jinx. She's Bug Bunny and Daffy Duck mixed together." I hear her giggle - a soft, light one - but a giggle nevertheless.

The music simmers down, fading away as we slowly glide back to the center of the room. We bend together, our knees bending over our toes.
I struggle to maintain balance but just about make it. As always, she does it effortlessly. I smile. It isn't easy - it's just that she makes it look easy. She keeps the pain and effort hidden away for herself. I know that now. Perhaps, we are more alike than I thought previously.

We stand facing each other as the song ends - she : glowing in her pink leotard, me: sweating in my beige salwar.

She looks me directly in the eye for the first time since the song started and then bows - the last step of a ballet.

I know the term well.

Ray-vay-rahnss.

Reverence.

August 27, 2012
31 Comments

You know how the story ends

movies and stuff

Avengers - You know that the superheroes are gonna triumph over the aliens.
Ek tha Tiger - Come on. It's Salman Khan. You know he's gonna live through all the bullets and blasts.
The Dark Knight Rises - Okay. I'll grant you this one. It was always 50-50.
Jism 2 - There will be cleavage.
Jannat 2 - There will be Emraan.
Cocktail - The desi girl will triumph over the modern girl.
Basically, every Bollywood romance - The guy gets the girl.

The thing is we tend to enter most films knowing exactly how the story goes.

So if I were to ask you to go watch a film where a bunch of air-headed teenagers go frolicking in the forest and start getting killed by an evil force there, would you please listen to me ?
I know. I know.
We've all seen that storyline in English B-grade movies for decades.

"The Cabin in the Woods."
Even the uninspiring title is meant to lull you into a false sense of 'been-there-seen-that'.

A few years back, in a panel, 'director' Sajid Khan infamously said that he doesn't need a script to make a movie a superhit - just a huge star cast. He felt the concept of a 'bound and ready script' was outdated. I even remember reading a Jacqueline Fernandes interview where she too stated that they would enter the sets of his movie with no idea what to shoot and just ad-lib scenes. And this was after travelling to foreign locations and renting palatial houses.
Sadly, he did prove his point with absolutely brainless movies with puerile humour that are all sitting proudly in the 100 crore league club.
The losers are people like us - people who have to suffer the movie, wondering what we did in our past lives to deserve this.

So to watch 'The Cabin in the Woods' was like a breath of fresh air. All the cliches are right there in front of you :
The lusty blonde. The sportsman jock. The nerdy geek. The shy girl. Redneck rural guy warning them not to go on. An isolated cabin. Monsters.
And yet, the writers, Joss Whedon ( Avengers ) & Drew Goddard ( Cloverfield ) have taken each aspect of this oft-repeated tale and reconstructed it into an absolutely brilliant script. You can keep trying to guess what's going on, right from the very beginning ; chances are you still wouldn't have gotten it right by the time the final act of the movie begins.
Revealing anything more than this would spoil the surprise.The fact that it wasn't just a boring old horror film - the individual touch of the writers is visible with Whedon's smart sense of humour ( remember Avengers ? ) perfectly blending in with Goddard's sense of the supernatural ( Lost, Cloverfield ). Also, to fans of the horror genre, there are some awesome surprise cameos ( Hint : not necessarily human )

A last point for those still sitting in the fence wondering whether to watch it - RottenTomatoes rated it at 90% ( 177/196 critic reviews worldwide ) placing it even higher than The Dark Knight Rises at 87%.

I saw a few movies this last month that kept me guessing till the end. The other two are not even English, frankly - the Argentine thriller and Oscar Winner 'The Secret in their Eyes' and the Spanish movie 'The Skin I live in.'
While the former builds up like a slow-boiling kettle, showing the decades long after-math of an unsolved rape/murder and how it affects not just the victim but the investigating officers, the latter reveals its hand in the longest movie flash-back with Antonio Banderas starring as a doctor you really, really don't want to cross.
I liked both of them, not because they are feel-good movies ( they aren't ) but because they are proof, atleast to me, that a good script is still the key to a good movie.

I don't know but I'm guessing screenplay writers in Bollywood probably don't earn nearly as much as they ought to. And that's the sad truth of the system. Everyone banks on star cast rather than storyline.
Movies like Vicky Donor are the rare exception - where actual importance is given to the story and not the cast.

I wish we had more movies like that. Movies that we didn't have to say 'Leave your brains behind' while going to watch.

August 24, 2012
27 Comments

16 Apps for every Indian Android phone

Fun Lists

Let's be honest. We're way beyond the era where a mobile's job is to make a phone call.

Once upon a time, we were ready to forgive Nokia even though the other mobiles had better features ( Sony - Sound, Samsung - clarity ), simply because Nokia had the better interface. Well, that ship sailed once smartphones stepped into the picture.
And with all the crazy-awesome apps available for us today, I wanted to share my list of apps ( not games ) I feel everyone in India ought to have, irrespective of Quad-core/screen size/Android version. Remember, this is my own personal choice. You're more than welcome to add to the list with your own personal choices.

1. Evernote :

Plus : For someone like me who loves writing-on-the-go, Evernote is heaven. It allows me to sync notes across the mobile and computer. So even if I get a good idea while travelling in a crowded bus, I can type and save it on the phone and it's automatically there in my computer when I get back. It also allows for easy tagging/searching across multiple documents.

Minus : None that I can think of. Doesn't crash. Doesn't eat up memory.

2. Dropbox :

Plus : What Evernote does for your written thoughts, Dropbox does for your photos and documents.

Minus : None. Works just fine.

3. Opera Mini :

Plus : One of the best net browsers in a mobile, right from the Nokia days. Extremely handy if you're on a volume-dependant net plan as it cuts down page size by upto as much as 90% ( my own observation. )

Minus : Recent updates have shown the occasional tendency to crash.

4. awallet Password :

Plus : A place to store all your passwords at one shot. You can arrange them by categories ( online, credit cards, banking etc ). Does not sync online - this is a good thing because your passwords cannot be transferred online and so there isn't any chance of it falling into the wrong hands.

Minus : Can't think of any. Easy. Efficient. Doesn't consume memory.

5. Rail Time :

Plus : Tired of having to depend on IRCTC just to find train timings ? This is the perfect app for you. It downloads the whole Indian train schedule so you can check it offline at your own leisure. It also allows you to check your PNR status and shows you the time the train reaches each station.

Minus : Again, no complaints.

6. JustDial :

Plus : I love how efficient this site is. You can ask them the address and phone number of anything and they seem to have it in their database.

Minus : Needs a net connection. Also their own efficiency is this App's Achilles heel - they have an awesome phone service so who would need the app ??

7. AllIndiaBankInfo :

Plus : Totally offline. Click your bank, choose your state, pinpoint your town and you get the address, phone number and IFSC code. Brilliant.

Minus : Not many.

8. JiniBox - India TV Guide

Plus : For Tv addicts, this is your nirvana. Gives you the entire schedule of TV programmes across all the channels so you know when yiur favourite movie is coming on. Allows you to select personal favourite channels so you can view them at a click of a button.

Minus : Memory-guzzler. I'll be frank. I've uninstalled this app for this reason alone. It's as heavy as the Facebook app ( which doesn't find a place on this list for the same reason - why struggle with the Facebook app when I can view it on Opera Mini ?)

9. Whatsapp :

Plus : Sigh. Remember those days when you'd cut down letters in your sms because an international sms cost Rs 5 ? Well, Whatsapp has done and dusted that for good. Free ( for the first year ), unlimited, rapid messaging across all platforms (Android, Apple, Blackberry ) across all countries. Awesome emoticons. Easy transfer of videos, music and more. Group conversations. Minimal memory and battery utilisation. What more can you ask for ?

Minus : Requires a net connection unlike traditional sms.

10. Local :

Plus : I believe this is nothing more than Google Maps. Either way, it is amazing. With GPS on, it made my life a hell of a lot easier in alien surroundings. I knew which building was coming, could see reviews of that restaurant around the corner and even find alternate routes when roads were suddenly converted into one-ways. I can also save maps of cities offline.

Minus : Of course, maps aside, you need the net for GPS and finding travel routes. That can eat up your battery life down to half in no time.

Honorable mentions :

11) Doctor at Home : Offline app which gives you good-ol' homemade cures for common ailments like acidity,asthma, fever etc ( Eg : Clicking 'cold' gives me bitter gourd, garlic, lemon, ginger and turmeric - clicking any of them gives the explanation as well as how to prepare it. ) The only thing missing is the nagging voice of your mom, telling you to 'just eat it.'

12) SweetNSpicy : Online app for recipes - both Indian and continental. I love cooking and I love the easy interface on this app and the 'Browse by Ingredients' section where you type in what you have in your fridge and they give you recipes you can make. For those who want the same features for cocktail recipes, head over to Mixologist ... uh, or so I've heard. Hic.

13) Noom : I just realised I haven't put a fitness-related app in the list and you all might find out the truth of my ( lack of ) an exercise schedule. Noom allows you to keep track of your daily meals and exercise workouts, logging in the calories based on the type of workout you are doing. Thoroughly efficient. Thoroughly demoralising for me.

14) Advanced task killer : For freeing up memory and shutting all the open apps with the click of a single button.

15) Tweetcaster : I use Tweetcaster for Twitter. Works well enough for me. I'm sure there are better options out there, but I have no complaints with this bird and its various colourful interfaces and options.

16) Pulse : This app allows me to read most of the international news/gossip/sports websites ( not Indian newspapers, mind you ) offline. It also lets me sync my google reader so I can read all the recent blogposts as well.

So that's my list. I haven't added any music-player app (I use Poweramp) and picture editor (Pixlr-o-matic) so feel free to chip in.
Which apps would you like to recommend and why ?

Readers add :

*Ritika - Instagram
*Avina - Go Launcher, Shush, Soundhound, Shazam, MusiXmatch
*Dr Mosyn - Camscanner, Onenote, Flipboard, Ngpay, Dominos, Aldiko, Aviary
*Dr Danny - Google Current, Latitude, Amazon Kindle
*Sonam - Mintm

August 15, 2012
27 Comments

The need for everyone's approval

But seriously...

Parent's wishes, elder's decisions, bosses orders, time, religion, caste, gender.

We all have invisible handcuffs and shackles that hold onto us.

I know I always did. Lots of them. One which was of my very own creation, in fact. You see, I always felt the need for everyone's approval. I would bend over backwards to accommodate people. I needed them to think well of me. I had to be the good guy in everyone's eyes.

But a funny thing's happened recently.

I don't care anymore for people who throw taunts and insults my way. Before it would have rankled. It would have stabbed. That was before.
Today, I realize how silly it is to give a flying flute for such people's lies. After all, if a dog barks, we don't have to bark back at it. I know I almost did.

Luckily, common sense prevailed.

Close friends always told me that I was stronger mentally than I let people know. They were right. I am. The mistake I made was that I always saw it as a curse since I would let very few people into my personal sanctuary and trust them with my pain. But I realize how wrong that was. That inner strength was what helped me through some of the most amazing crap that people have ever heard of.

My life is testament to the 'fact is stranger than fiction' statement and there is nothing I can do to change that.

I realize now that I can't make peace with ill-wishing scoundrels. The mistake was to even try. Instead, it's time to be the person I am capable of being.

I don't want to be 'that guy' who talks of the brilliance of his caste and ancestry. I want to be known for the things I do and not the barks of brazen curs. Those who matter will stay. Those who don't never mattered.

This year has given me many chances to realize some of my dreams.

I got to attend a book launch as a co-author, which is something I never dreamed off even while writing romance scripts for classmates in anatomy dissection halls.

As fellow blogger and co-author Nirvana pointed out, the publishing company was also kind enough to name me as Author of the Month August 2012.

Another story is en route to being published in an anthology.

This blog, which started off in 2005, with no great aim or theme has got me the tag of Blogadda's Premium Blogger and gave me a chance to judge the very contest I've participated in for nearly 4 years - The Spicy Saturday Picks of the Week.

This blog has also helped me become friends with wonderful people I've never even met - people who I now trust better with my closest secrets than some of the 'recommended good guys' I had the misfortune of meeting in real life.

I also got to finally catch up with my old partner-in-crime from college days. The last time I saw him and his wife was six years ago on his wedding day. Since then, our worlds have gone in different directions and we just never found the time to take a break from being doctors, sons and care-takers. Finally being in Chennai and catching up with them ( Thank you GPS... how did people ever drive without it ? ) was a fond reminder of great days gone by, driving everyone from batch-mates and even our own staff crazy with our pranks. Age ( and weight !! ) have definitely caught up with us old folks, but the well wishes remain.

And that's an important realization I made.

I have people who care. Not because of bloodlines or being in the same workplace or because they are indebted to my family. I have people who care for me as an individual. Not people who sympathise and walk away, but people who laugh genuinely with me and cry for the path my naiveté has led me down. People who actually pray for me.

The irony is that in trying to please people who should never have mattered, I turned my back on people who cared for my well-being. Rookie mistake, huh ? That was a lesson I should have learned before I was allowed to graduate from college.

I learned it too late. But now I have learned it. And it changes everything.
I almost started barking back at the dogs barking at me. But I didn't. Because it isn't worth it. What I can do is stop caring for these boulders in my pathway and make my own destiny - one that I can finally say is all my own.

After all, the way I see it, as long as I keep caring for those who care for me and refuse to succumb to the taunts and viciousness that is a part and parcel of life anyway, whether I reach my destination is actually irrelevant.
What matters are the memories I create and cherish along the way.

August 13, 2012
32 Comments

Premium Blogger.

Funny

I'm not famous for showing off.

You know, like the time I didn't show off when my short stories were published in Urban Shots and the Chicken Soup series.
...or when they are yet to be even published.
...or the time I got interviewed.
...or that time my name was randomly mentioned in the paper.
...or even that time I won a fellow blogger's caption contest.
...or just that time I described myself.

Dear God, humility is obviously one of my better virtues.

So, I'll just come out and say it - I have been selected as one of 10 Premium Bloggers (click for link ) on India's largest blogging community, Blogadda.

Big deal ? Hell yeah, it is !

So what does it mean ? Well, I haven't read the fine print but from what I understand, I get the following privileges :

1. You now have to pay a toll for passing by my blog. I'm thinking Rs 5 per visit with Rs 3 for refreshing page. All collected contributions will be donated for a noble cause ( the 'My Hawaii trip 2013 foundation'. )

2. You are now required by law to comment on my blog... or else. I have a tracker. I know where you live. Well, at least which country you live in. So don't make me board a flight/bus/bullock cart and come hunting for you.

3. You don't have to address me as Roshan or doc anymore. It seems too formal. Henceforth, I will be known as 'His Highness the Sultan of Blogpuri III'. There are no previous versions, but I just wanted to have a number at the end of my name. So cool. I feel like a new man.

4. I get to handpick two female bloggers of my choice as my personal bodyguards. Anyone with karate and kungfu skills are automatically disqualified. Bad enough I'll have to face your sexual harassment charges without the added humiliation of getting beaten up and pile-driven.

5. No more taxes for me. Plus, my mutual fund selections will automatically perform better than yours. Nya nya nya nya nya naa.

6. If you see me at either Kentucky Fried Chicken / Mc Donalds, you are obligated to give me your fries and burger. Hey, rules are rules.

7. ~~I get to decide who wins the T20 World Cup this year...~~ I'm sorry, this one is classified. I'm not allowed to tell you because of certain silly match-fixing-scandal related issues.

8. If you see me in public, wave and act all excited. Giggle. Fawn. Gush. Blush. I may nod back though I'm not obligated to.

That's it for now. That was page one of the privileges. I'll let you know more privileges as I read them myself. But first, I have work to do.

There are fries and burgers with my name on them being paid for at a Mc Donalds.

P.S. Thanks Blogadda. Honoured to be chosen.

P.P.S. To be frank, I really didn't read the privileges in the contract because my spectacles are being repaired presently. This was just a modest guess of what I think I see in Page 1. I'm sure they've included super-powers and the red button which launches our nuclear weapons as well in the next few pages.