Being a doctor is no picnic. It is a life where people come
to you when they are suffering physically and mentally and we have to deal with
that sorrow alongside other factors that I honestly wish no one had to go
through when they enter our doors – poverty, loss and even impending death.
The really good doctors can dissociate easily, not allowing
the pain and suffering to hang on to them. That is a necessity if you are going
to hold on to your sanity, really. With 80 – 100 working hours in a week on
average, it can get really hard to find time to just de-stress and let some steam
out. Often, the collateral victims are your family members, friends and the
ones you love who do not get time to be with you and start to feel inconsequential.
One of the things I always advocate to every young doctor as
a must is to make time for those who matter in your life. The inflow of
patients through the hospital doors will never end; you will never finish
seeing ‘the last patient’… but you will lose in life if you choose to ignore the
ones who truly matter to you.
My old college roommate and I always make it a rule to meet
up once in at least six months away from the hectic life schedules of our
lives. We have done this religiously since the end of our MBBS days back in
2005. That is ten years of tradition.
Life around us has changed a lot over the last decade. We
have seen loss and attained success. We have watched patients die in spite of
our best efforts and struggled with the avalanche of text books and journals.
There have been losses in personal life and missed opportunities which will
probably never come back. We are harder souls now, the rose-tinted glasses
knocked off our faces by the reality of life.
The last year has had its share of good and bad moments for
me – ghosts of the past weighed me down while the uncertainties of a future
unknown added to that insecurity. That is why I am glad that I have this system
in place. Often we find a place nearby to just relax and take a break before
heading back the next day to our respective work places.
This time, we chose to celebrate the New Year by taking an
extended leave and heading on to a place filled with memories for us all -
Mangalore, the city where we studied as students at the start of this century. For
a change, we entered the state not as doctors but just friends on a vacation,
meeting fellow doctors outside of work and indulging ourselves with the best of
food that Mangalore always has to offer besides the luxury of good movies and
long chats.
For two days, it was about sizzlers and cinema, family and
old friends. It was about visiting old places we first walked by as students a
decade ago and greeting old faces, be it the kind travel agent who used to book
our train tickets or the person who used to record songs on audio cassettes for
us from his vast collection.
It was not about what we had studied for fifteen years of
our life but what we had become over thirty. And it was a necessary reset
button, reminding us that there is a life beyond the medical field as well. It motivated
us to go back in a happy frame of mind, ready to face whatever walked in
through those hospital doors again once we reached back.
Everyone needs to have an outlet for the stress in their
lives. Bottling things up/working ungainly hours/carrying your work home are
things that will eat you up in the end if you are not careful. You need to make
time for the few people who truly matter in your lives and let them know that
they matter, right here and now rather than when it is too late.
Take it as a doctor’s advice, if you must, but find the time
for something beyond work. Be geuninely happy again. The younger version of you should be
proud if he were to come across you today for how well you have balanced your work
and personal life. Chances are pretty good he would have known what truly mattered
in your life, don’t you think?
Author's note:
This is written for Housing.com.
Let me know what you think.