A tablespoon of sadness & a heap of anger

Dr Roshan Radhakrishnan
7

Two of my friends who were a couple broke up recently. It's news from the grapevine known to a few of us only..as of now. I don't know if anyone will mourn them. I mean it just makes for gossip and a lot of snide remarks from others who had nothing better to do than await their downfall. Yes, I'm angry..perhaps more than the situation warrants. But there's such a sense of frustration in watching love die.
I wish it were atleast that they fell out of love..perhaps cheated on each other or maybe he had hit her. Something like that, I can justify to myself. But no. These two star crossed ones ( for that is all they will be now, forever ) just did one thing wrong. They were born to different religions. And that ensured that no matter how good they looked together, how perfect they always were,how each made up for the other, they were always doomed from the start. And that is where for me, the whole system fails.
Today the girl is engaged to someone she's met once, a decree by her parents for her grievious mistake and to ensure her reputation is no longer harmed. It matters not that they have not much in common, that her broad mindedness will be negated by his conservative nature, that her personality,a radiant lamp, will be extinguished. As long as tradition triumphs, right?
What kind of a world do we live in where we can openly declare in the living room of our house that we hate somebody and nobody minds, but we have to hide love ? Since when has love become the cancer ? Who decided that personality means nothing over religion? How can a person not have any say in his/her own life in the most important decison there is?
Everyone talks about culture and it's corruption by the snakes of westernization, the media etc.
As far as I' concerned, that's just a load of BullS**t. You have idiots in the name of religion breaking down card shops dutifully every Valentine's Day to save the new generation from being polluted by love. How can people be so blind? How can that be culture?
Isn't any religion based on love?..God's love for mankind, God teaching mankind to love one another? I'm no Guru of Islam/Hinduism/Christianity but heck, I'm sure there isn't anything in their Holy books saying "Love mankind, my children..but for Godssake, stay away from Ramu! He's a (ewww...) Hindu/Punjabi !!" I'm sure I missed that line if it's there.
I just don't get it. We can be friends with people of different religions but we MUST NOT care for them? Always maintain one arm distance from them..is that why they thought us one arm distance for in P.T. class ?I never realised it was a religious thing. When will people learn to stop this distrust based on irrelevant factors..every religion, every family has their black sheep. Yet each tries to put the other down and show that they're better ( another one of the COMMANDMENTS, I'm sure ).
How can everyone of these so-called wise elders be so blind to the basic premise of any religion - Love people for who they are..as an individual. In the past, greater battles of prejudice ( in the name of colour, caste etc) have been won , to some extent, by those true of heart. But "to some extent" is not enough anymore. For each loss is a step backward, a heart broken, a life changed forever. Everyone should have the freedom of choice - the freedom to find your soulmate, to know love, to be loved. The happiness in loving someone and being loved back..that's a religion worth praying for.
Nothing I say will change the fates of the couple who've broken up. But guys, even if noone else sheds a tear for you both, I do. Thanks for all the fun memories, of lighting up our memories with your love. College life was a better place because of people like you, who showed that love can be such a beautiful sight.

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7Comments

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  1. All i can do is nod my head...

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  2. Talking about religion? what abt if people are of different caste?

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  3. You're right, mogamboo. Where else but in this great land of DIVERSITY can you see people being so against others of the same state even, based on something as dumb as caste..

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  4. Rosh,

    All these days I had been a regular reader of your blog ( albeit without your knowing it), primarily because it used to provide that much-needed relief in the office-work-relationships-real life scheme of things. But I must say- and it would be such a travesty of personal conviction if I didn't- that your tablespoon of anger did unleash a lot of thought.

    Much as I'm game for all of love's victories ( yours, Sumz's and many others), I must remind the fortunate few there's indeed more to the rosy little word than V-day sentiments,honey-tinted sights etc etc.

    Rightfuly brave are the battles of love, and painfully grave are the ones lost.

    Inspite of myself, I must urge you to take a look at the scenes behind the tears, the lives of the star-crossed couple before their paths crossed each other's. yeah, I'm talking about that entity called family- something of equal significance in this land of diversity,spiriruality and what-not.

    That the hapless duo hailed from different communities, of course, is beyond us. But then somehow, I can't help admiring the resilience(docility as it might appear)which the young lady showed- a worthy attribute to her broadmindedness- in simply moving on with life.The romantic in me screams in anguish, and I am not blind to the heart-wrenching spasms of her paramour either- but then THAT TOO,IS LIFE!
    Quite a resigned way of looking at it? Far from it,pal.

    About this forgotten entity, the family- which somehow had lost its appeal in Cupid's workspace- why oh why do we resent their shock and aparent lack of understanding? The religion card they seem to have played is only a symbol of their unwillingness to let their child off into unknown territory- an unknown set of beliefs, practices...That's love again; albeit hopelessly possessive.

    To cut a long argument short, I'd commend the lady to have compromised on her aspirations in her 'meek submissiveness'; a gesture through which she has, to an extent, reciprocated to the years of tenderness, care and dreams her dear ones( I hope I am not wrong there) had lavished on her. That the head ruled even in the matters of the heart.

    I'm no conservative; I don't write screenplays for Ekta Kapoor's serials; but I assert, there IS a luminous streak of character in the tear-washed tale of the couple.
    My conviction- which I had held on to with equal grip when I prayed for the happiness of all those happily united in love, too- tells me that in a matter of time, even this sad story would trace a silver lining. That love, which did take a backseat now, would emerge resplendent and chaste from the test of fire it just underwent.

    Rosh, I didn't mean to add salt to your heap of anger; just wanted to remind you that the real flavour of life is quite bitter-sweet.

    Nevertheless, wishing everyone who's reading this life's VERY BEST-

    An old friend (call me Bronze)

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  5. sad, ain't it.. all the great things that are out there, and all that ppl can think about are inconsequential attributes like religion, region, nationality, caste...

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  6. to Bronze
    While i can't say i wholeheartedly agree with your view ( I'm stubborn where prejudices are concerned ) I do admit you have a valid point.. I just wish there was more that could be done. It's helplessness more than anything else that hurts me.

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  7. Rosh.. I read your light weight blogs randomly.

    I agree with Bronze on certain points ... Life has its infinite unique faces...

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