The tough guy...

Dr Roshan Radhakrishnan

I'm gonna show her who wears the pants around here. She may have fooled the others, but she'll find I'm a tougher cookie to crack. After all, the honour of my batch is at stake and once again, it is upto me to rise to the occasion. Where is she, now ? Hmmm.. I guess I better tell you what's up while we wait for that scheming temptress to come..

There's a new girl in the operating theatre, Geeta. She's cute, got a great smile, is smart, intelligent and can secure intravenous lines in a jiffy; in short, a doc's dreamgirl. But she has a major flaw : she's a butterer. For the 10 % of you who don't know what a butterer is, it's someone who keeps praising you in front of yourself to get into your good books ; a kind of annoying 'yes man'. Well, she and 3 others are juniors to the four of us..S, C, RR and myself. And we've already decided that we won't take any crap from our juniors and would put them in their place if ever they took advantage of our friendliness. So naturally, her buttering didn't escape our radar.

Let me give you a rundown of my gang before I continue :
N - He's the big, tall guy who in the movies would probably play a silent bodyguard who rips chicken throats for practise. It's hard to extract the laughs from him , heck, you'd have better luck stealing a lion cub from a hungry lioness.
C - The quiet schemer. He notes everything and works quietly from the background, instigating others into action when needed. It's tough to fool him.
RR - He and I are the 2 Keralites.. we're the 'Backwater Boys' apparently.. haha. Some people's idea of a dumb joke. Anyway, he's the type who wears his emotions on his sleeve, be they love or anger. He's been there, done it all.

Now Geeta was posted with all of us for a week each and we figured this was the time to put her in her place.

Week 1 :
N got the first week. I and RR pitied her. We all knew what was in store for her : all the work and shouting at every small mistake. After all, N had already told us at the start of that week he wasn't gonna take any of her nonsense and would catch each and every one of her faults. Work as always, kept the rest of us busy till the end of the week.. we wondered how Geeta had done. She still smiled when we met in the morning.. but we backwater boys wondered how much she must be getting whipped by N. Finally, I and RR after a harrowing week came to it's end, came out after our last case and headed for our lunch at the lounge. There was N and Geeta having lunch and smiling.
N : You must have this chapati from my tiffin. For my sake.
Geeta : No sir. Please. I can't eat anymore.
N : No no no no no. I won't accept no. You must take.

Geeta : Sir, you know I won't say no to you, na. It's just that I'm a galactovegetarian and that food is cooked in a non veg kitchen.

N : Oh. Damn. Still...

Geeta : Thank you, sir. It's so sweet of you to offer.

And then N said 3 words that made me choke on my first bite.

N : Tee hee hee..
I ain't kidding.

See, there are various laughs. 'Ha ha' and the loud guffawing 'haw haws' are quite common, among big guys ( not N, though ), while 'hee hees' are common to the female gender. But dammit.. the last time I saw anyone say 'Tee hee hee' with a capital T was Betty while seducing Archie. And now, I'd seen it for real.. from our huge hulk.. and he was still grinning watching her walk off with his mouth open.

Me : What the hell happened to him ? He just girly giggled.

RR : What the hell's a galactovegetarian ? Is that like from outer space ?

n.b. : N changed to a pure vegetarian mess from June 1st.

Week 2 :
Geeta vs C. Thinking back, we backwater boys were more confident of C's success. Cause this guy knows all the tricks and can spot fake comments from a mile away. He'd pick up her fake flattery from a mile away. Again, a hectic work schedule meant we rarely ran into each other for long periods. And then came Friday morning. Geeta arrived late into the Ot. She barely made it in time, to be frank. Perfect chance , I thought. C would really screw her. I hoped she wouldn't cry... too much. The 4 of us just happened to be there when she walked in, 30 minutes late. She smiled at C, who smiled back and handed her her scrubs which she took with another charmer smile and walked away.
RR : Are you kidding me ??
Me : What just happened ? Dude, you're supposed to blast her. She's late for work. We had to do her work.

C : Leave it na.
RR : What ??

C : She woke up late. It could happen to anyone.

Me : How do you know she woke up late ?
C : Oh, she called at 8 am, telling me she'd be late cause she's just woken up.

Me : 8 am ? She's supposed to be in the ot at 8am !!!

C: Leave it. As long as the ots are set, who cares who does the work ?

N : Exactly. Poor thing. She must have been studying all night.

C : ( Cough cough ).. exactly. Leave her alone.

I looked at RR. We shook our heads in disbelief. She'd taken down C too. We wouldn't know how much till much later. The late night phone calls between C and Geeta, the sweet sms' and cute goodnights.. ya, we'd find out all that only the next night. Of course, her coup de grace was unique - a tumbler of freshly shaken mango shakes delivered to his room. And I mean shaken as in she shook the damn jar for 15 minutes after adding all ingredients.

Which brings us back to today morning, the present. Week 3. Day 1. Morning one. Geeta's assigned under me. Good. It's time to put an end to this nonsense. No more of these stupid laughs and silly late night calls. RR and I know it's up to us to atleast save some of our batch's dignity. And as luck would have it, Geeta has chosen this Monday morning to come late once more. Ho Ho ho. Wrong guy to try that with, considering I'm a stickler for punctuality. Oh baby, this was gonna be nice. Now to show the guys how it's done. Oh good, here she comes now.

Me : Geeta, I have something to tell you.
Geeta : Sir, before that, let me just say, I'm really looking forward to working with you. All the senior staff in the department tell us juniors to learn from you.
Me: Really ? Oh, they're just being kind. ( Really ? Learn from me... who da man ? who's yer daddy ? )
Geeta : Oh no, sir. I've seen you in emergencies. You're really great, such a cool head.
Me : He he. Well, I'm just that kinda guy, you know. Cool in a crisis. ( Actually the ot mask covers my tears while the adult diapers do the rest. ) Anyway, I don't know if I'd say great... good maybe, but not great, you know.
Geeta : And that sense of humour. Sir, that joke you said about that surgeon yesterday in post op was so funny. I was laughing even 2 hours later thinking of it. Tell me, sir, how do you think of such funny things ?
Me : Aww.. it comes instinctively. ( Actually, I'd sat up beyond midnight working up scenarios to trap that poor surgeon so that I could lay the punchline on him. ) It's a purely natural sense of comic timing I'm gifted with.
Geeta : That's so awesome, sir. And sir, have you lost weight ?
Me : Lost ? I thought I'd gained a few.. ( a few tonnes maybe.. I've long forsaken my belt for the 'untucked shirt' look. Heck, I get love letters from the elephants when I visit the zoos and temples. )
Geeta : No way sir. You've definitely lost weight. It makes you look even more handsome ( More ? She's noticing... ) And sir, which is that perfume you're wearing ?
Me : Oh, the usual. Ferrari, imported. ( Archie's Boyz Wink, reduction sale )
Geeta : Ummmm... it smells so manly. ( Manly ? I thought it smelt like bottled bubblegum... which makes it even weirder that I chose to buy it. )
Me : Ya, I thought so too.. a really rough manly smell.
Geeta : Definitely, sir. Oh, by the by, What did you want to tell me, sir ?
Me : Huh ? Oh. Oh ya...Uhh.. umm.. ya, that was some nice mango shakes you made for C. I got a taste cause you made plenty.
Geeta : You liked it, sir ?
Me : Oh, best I've ever tasted. No doubts. ( I'm still recovering from the diarrhoea )
Geeta : Thank you sir. Can you hand me the scrubs ?
Me : Oh definitely, here you go. Take your time. I've already prepared the ots, including yours.
Geeta : Oh. That's so sweet of you sir. I'm sorry I'm so late ( Late ? who noticed ? Not me!! ) I was awake till late last night talking to my boyf..cough, my brother.
Me : How nice. You're so lucky that you have such a loving brother. ( I wonder if he'd make a good brother-in-law )
Geeta : Yes sir. Now, I really must go change.
Me : Yes, please please go. Sorry for delaying you.
I watched her as she walked away, into the changing room. What a nice, sweet wo...

"You know, atleast the others lasted a week."
I turned around. RR was shaking his head and looking at me with a resigned look.
"What ?" I asked. But he'd already walked off, still shaking his head.

Who cares ? He's just jealous because I'm sweet and handsome.
Oh, and I smell nice too.

Tee hee hee.

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Let me know what you think.

  1. ROFL.. Some girls really know how to tackle guys ;)

  2. No 'Tee Hee Hee' for this one Mr, it was a "Haha Haha!" from me. Hilarious post ! :-)

    Buttering=Maskafying used to be normal during college days, worked for us with sir's and for guys with ma'ms . LOL!

    BTW, if this Geeta really exists, I hope she does't know you have a blog up here ;-)

  3. Hahaha! So d all men really succumb to those flashing of eyelashes? Do they? :D

    Really funny post this was! And if its 100% real, I will be damned! I it really real?

    God I should learn a thing or two in maneuvering!

  4. Dhanya, that is so true. I'm findin it out the hard way

    aishu, oh she exists alright. Name is naturally changed, but She's real. And thank god, no, she doesn't know of godyears

    nm, It's 80% real in that i have enough sense not to fall for those wiles of hers. The fact that I've bought 10 more bottles of archies wink perfume is purely coincidental. Seriously you gals have an inborn butterin gift.. Unleash the demon dear. You'l have guys eatin off your hand.. As is happenin here, literally!

  5. and i thought you detested butterers! :O

    you fell for all that in the worst way! :D

    so how are your flowery pants?? did you show that you wear pink flowered pants? :P

  6. Black coffee, i certainly do Not wear pink flowery pants! I'm the tough guy remember... Besides, It's pink teddy bear pants.. Mua macho !

  7. I've read some of your posts on and off in the past...but I am hooked to your blog with this post. It's just hilarious....."love letters from elephants"....exactly my kind of humour!!! You made it to my blog roll and have found a fan. Keep shining, Roshan!

  8. hi, i have been reading your blog for sometime.. this time i cldnt stop ROFL.keep it up

  9. You too Brutus ... :)

    Some buttering here and some there, and we are floored!

  10. Wonderful destiny and miths, yeah! 2 more fans.. Just a billion more to go! Maybe i should start distributing pamphlets.

    Ap, ya i know.. But somehow my butterin always ends up the same way.. With my lawyer helpin me get bail and assurin the judge i won't be caught eveteasing Again!

  11. LOL!!!!
    That was hilarious!!!
    Looks like you got taken in by the enchantress doc!!!

    This was really good!!!

  12. thanx k10.. i'm still recovering from the buttering overdose...unfortunately, she keeps it coming on and on !!!! If this carries on, I'll begin to believe Im God !!!

  13. Hey Rosh,

    Your post had me in splits...I like doc stories - keep them coming :-)

    Am a big fan of Grey's anatomy - I like the way of narration and the implicit humor. I'm waiting for the next season. Till then, your posts will do :-)

  14. Hey vijaya, thanks. Compared to non-medicos,we lead a tremendously borin life.. I guess It's just a matter of findin the bright side. And well, i'm a big fan of Scrubs myself.. I've jus never had the chance really to watch grey's anatomy.

  15. Haha...You have to be careful really careful man!!
    Blogrolled you!

  16. Awesome man ... just awesome .. :) too good post


  17. a lethal dose of soon !!!!

    ouch !!!

  18. K10, thanks man. Saw it. Yeah! I'm the first!

    Lalith, thanks. What can i say? I lead a weird life.

    Gazal, hey! I lasted 5mins Ok.. Who da maan!

  19. hmmmm, i've kinda figured out dat docs usually do fall 4 flattery...especially wen it cums 2admirin their kinda worked durin da 2 mths practice i had durin da vacations...hhmmm, n actually, it all happened by mistake...afterall, even docs' r humans...

  20. we're human ????
    I thought we were Gods in these puny human eyes.. oh the humiliation of being cast down

  21. Doc, its time that to you published books.

    I'm not sure if Geeta meant it, but I sure did laugh for 2 hours.


  22. Hey, Muki.. someday I really might.. I just don't know who or how to go about it

  23. lolllllllll.....
    he he he.....cant stop laughing...
    perfect end to my dull day :)

    1. Glad you liked it.. seems like ages ago. literally 5 years back.

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