Son of a greater God

Dr Roshan Radhakrishnan

"O God and Heavenly Father,
Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed;
the courage to change that which can be changed,
and the wisdom to know the one from the other."
- The Serenity Prayer

When I was a kid, I used to get ill a lot. I had a lot of respiratory infections and must have been a real burden to my parents. My God never stopped caring though. He ensured I was always given the best hospital’s tender loving care.
When I was a kid, God showed me the miracle of driving a car without touching the steering wheel. Years later, I realised that the car accelerated because of those funny ‘leg cushions’ below the steering wheel.
As a kid, I learnt from God the joys of watching musclemen fake their way in a sport called wrestling. 2 decades later, I no longer watch the game, but I keep up with what’s going on so that I can enjoy listening to God’s view on who’s been ‘naughty and nice’ in the ring.
As a kid, I went to the best schools, had the best education and all the comforts. God ensured I had all this so that his children wouldn’t suffer like he did.
As a kid, I demanded Kinder and Galaxy chocolates, new clothes every other month and endless He-man comics. God never said no, no matter how thin his wallet was.
As I kid, I watched God be generous beyond his means, giving shelter to homeless immigrants till they found a place to live and never take anything in return. In return they abandoned him once their needs were fulfilled. It broke his heart over and over but he carried on.
As a kid, I watched him play pranks on his friends and thus learnt the fine art myself... one of the few traits I’m proud to say I can match him at.
When the time came, like in his own case, God directed me to leave the place where I was comfortable... the only place I’d ever called home. I questioned the need for it in my heart, but eventually relented. Years later, I see the wisdom in his actions. If my initial home, Dubai, gave me my moral values and nature, my new home ( a country I’d seen more in a geography textbook than in real life ) made me who I am today.
As I grew up, I turned away from my God, my own self serving needs better served elsewhere in the company of friends and peers. Still, whenever our paths crossed, he never wavered from showing his love the way he does best – in actions rather than words. There was no open declaration of undying love – just a glass of banana milk shake painstakingly made at 6 am before he left for work or his own great chicken biryani which he slaved over after coming home for his lunch break while I lay on the couch watching TV endlessly.
As I grew up, he guided me to my destiny, opening all the doors for me as I joined medical school. Never once was I found wanting for cash in those lavish teenage years. As the son ate at 3 star hotels with friends, God sat alone or with his spouse eating carrots and leftovers.
As I grew up, I erred in judgement. I chose the wrong crowd and forced my will upon God. I forced a life altering decision upon him. He agreed to my demands... in 2 seconds. He was happy that I was happy. Nothing else mattered.
When my decision backfired and all hell broke loose, he carried on despite his own weakened heart, carrying me as I fell again and again till finally I was safe again. Never once did he point an accusing finger in my direction for the flames that singed us all.
Today, 9 years after I joined the field of medicine, I’m still dependent on him for my needs. I still need his moral support to carry me through when the going gets tough.
I still need to remember how he didn’t let being an orphan affect him – how he controlled his destiny and saved so many people’s lives. How he succeeded against all odds and yet took no pleasures in his golden years, sacrificing it all for his children.
God, I want you to know I haven’t forgotten. I still carry the memories. Of the trips to the zoo ( and the tiger that aimed and pissed at us ), of the shawarma dinners ( that I thought was a national dish ) that have carried over from Dubai to Kannur over these 2 decades. Of the time you sent a poor soul who’d asked where to deliver an A/C to a major 5 star hotel when he rang up our number by mistake. Of the endless times you listened to us kids talk rot without being condescending or forcing your will upon us. Of the time you shielded me from the fact that my dog passed away on my birthday. I still remember the advice you’ve given me as I joined high school, then college and finally my post graduate studies.
People who know me well say a lot about how I’m a do-gooder, a prankster, a kind soul doomed to be fooled repeatedly, a person who makes those around him happy even when he’s suffering.

I tell them the truth – that I may have gotten my mother’s looks, but knowingly or unknowingly, I've inherited my God’s personality.
I wish there was more I could do to make up for the time we’ve lost or make your life more comfortable.
God willing, someday, I will.
But till then, I just want to say,

I Love you, Dad.
And Happy Birthday too.

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Let me know what you think.

  1. DUDE!! I wouldn't mind turning my back on atheism to become a believer again. I think I found my God too :)



  2. the life size real time "KRISHNAN" wonder u loved that movie... didnt know u related that story to urself.. now i know..

    Happy birthday Acha...

  3. I think you do look like your mom :)

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. That was sweet.
    I think I have got more of my dad in me,in looks and as a person:D
    We indeed are lucky to have such loving parents.

    It was my mom's bday on the 1st.We spent the entire day together,mother and daughter.I enjoyed and I'm sure so did she :)

  6. Happy Birthday to God from my side too.. a beautiful post..

  7. yes..i too derive a lot of courage from that prayer...its a very powerful mantra...when you say it to yourself ..

    started the new year with the same prayer on my blog too.


  8. :) I think I'll go give my dad a hug now...

    Lovely post. Happy new year! Wish you and your family the very best! :)

  9. CRD, I hope u found ur God too.

    Rat, well.. I dont really relate to that movie.. not more than anyone else would, I guess.

    Aathira, ya, I know.. everyone says so.

    Illeen, Its been so long since Ive been there for any of their birthdays... one of the worst parts of this profession.. slave to the public, but not those who matter in ur own life.

    Veena, thank you.

    Gazal, well.. this prayer used to hang in our house back in Dubai decades ago.. brought it back to INdia too.. It seemed apt for this post

    A-hem.. I hope u did.. trust me, u're lucky u can...

  10. Sweet Post.. A very happy B'day to God from my side too.. He will indeed be proud of his son :)

  11. Thank you, Dhanya for ur wishes... as for the last bit, I'm ( cough cough wheeeze ) sure he is

  12. Lovely!! A great Bday present indeed.. :)

    Wishes for your God from my side also :)

  13. Excellent Stuff Rosh!

    btw..Was the car the ambassador or the 800?

  14. Ap, will do...

    Anonymous, thanks. And no, this was during my days in Dubai.. it was a Mazda.

  15. oh do check my other new blog .. i posted it based on ur comment that i ve a talent .. so i guess rosh inspired someone ...

  16. till '91... then onwards, its been sweet home Bharat Mata.

    And did check out ur blog.. kudos. And glad to know I've inspired one person atleast in this world :)

  17. this is sucha sweet post...i loved it :)
    im sure its a proud moment for ur dad to see his son adore and respect him soo much...

    very well written...
    belated birthday wishes to him :)

  18. Rat said what I wanted to say.. First thought that came to my mind was VA movie..

    I don't know who is luckier - you or your dad.. :) .. nice one

  19. hi..uve got a dedication waiting for u at my blog--"nostalgic moments" do come over and check it out :)

    seeya around

  20. amazing post.. no words to say.. dad n mom - two people we always take for granted! u struck a chord somewhere...

  21. Pri, thanks.. was busy at work for quite a while.. will post ASAP.

    Quakeboy, no doubts on it. I'm the lucky one to have such a great role model.

    Swahbuckler.. true man. We often take them for granted as we grow up... sad.

  22. Hi Roshan
    Very nice post..
    U seem to be very busy these days..No regular posts...
    I eagerly wait for ur posts each day :-)..They r just superb

  23. Happy birthday to your dad.. and it is so touching and moving.. My dad is a lot like that too and reading your post makes me wanna go hug my dad..:)
    Btw, I like the song that plays on your blog.. :) cheers..:)

  24. If not for all the hell that broke loose, you probably may not have seen THE GOD indeed. Cheers to the blessings for their beauty and the vetoes for making the blessing more beautiful !

  25. sorry everyone .. have been away from net for awhile, plus workload has been unbearable... thanks a lot for the comments.

  26. Needless to say, I exactly know what you feel.
    And that was a touching post.

  27. nice write have very well transferred your feelings into words (which is a hard thing to do) and indirectly passed on a good message to all the readers. :-)

    1. Thanks Vinay... reply is a few years too late but thanks is sincere.

  28. Smiles :)
    No matter how smart we are..
    our Fathers can outsmart us in six ways to Sunday :P

    Enjoy Happy Father's Day !!

  29. And I get to know you better today! You are truly blessed in your Dad and he in you, Roshan.

    1. I doubt if he is blessed in me but I am definitely blessed having him as a father...

  30. Aww I wish I could write something like this about my God, my Papa.
    And you and I are few of the most blessed children to have such parents !

  31. Yayyy! I can finally read God Years!!! Waited so long and so worth it!!

    1. Hahaha.. finally I am free! No more false labels :)

  32. Lovely. God bless your family :)

  33. Wow! That was straight from the heart! Did he read this? I sure hope he did! And his birthday is on 2nd Jan? That makes him a Capricorn. Capricorns look like they're all cool and controlled, but they're total mush inside. This letter would make him so senti. I really do hope he read this! And yes, you have inherited all his best qualities! :)

  34. So sweet. Such a heart-warming post :) Wish your god a belated happy birthday!

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