(Author's warning : Lots of videos ahead. Give adequate time for downloading for maximum enjoyment. )


Every year, hundreds of new movies are released world wide, encompassing a wide range of genres, ranging from mythology to science fiction. And the results can be occasionally magnificent, be it in cinematography ( 300, Avatar ), storyline ( Inception, Shawshank Redemption ) or just pure unadulterated emotions ( Sophie's Choice, Seven. )

Of course, the higher percentage of movies fall flat at the box office. The storylines are filled with holes, the acting is mediocre and melodramatic and, well... the movie plain sucks. You get bored, your mind wanders away and your hand reaches for the remote. 
But sometimes, out of these same ingredients, a rare gem does arise. Only these aren't classics along the lines of Titanic or Mughal-e-Azam. 


These are movies that are so bad, they're actually brilliant. You can't stop yourself. You just keep on watching, not believing the absurdity you're seeing and yet wanting to know 'what next'. You find yourself laughing out loud, ashamed that you're actually watching something so silly, but enjoying every minute of it.
Have you ever been in that situation ? Well, I have ( what a surprise, eh ? ) and I wanted to share with you my Top 5 list of "MOVIES SO BAD YOU'LL LOVE WATCHING THEM."


Special Mention : MegaShark vs Giant Octopus
The channel, SyFy, releases quite a few of these every year. It makes it very hard to choose. Other worthy contenders include Mansquito ( half man, half mosquito ), DinoCroc vs SuperGator, MegaPython vs Gatoroid etc. But I still found this to be amongst the more absurdly hilarious of their creations. You doubt me ? Check out the video below and try to guess what happens to the passengers of the plane ?


Did you see that coming ? Hehe... 


5. Big Trouble in Little China. ( 1986 )
This movie was a perfect example of being intentionally bad. 
A loud-mouthed truck driver helps his Chinese friend try to rescue his kidnapped fiancee, get stuck between two rival Chinese groups called Chang Sing and Wing Kong and finally fight an ancient sorcerer who's living below Chinatown. You think that storyline sounds weird ? It's nothing compared to what's in store for you. There's bad acting, kung fu, gun-slinging, magic, bad special effects... all the classics.

This movie by John Carpenter had a pretty decent cast with Kurt Russell ( Tango & Cash ) and Kim Cattrall ( Sex & the City ) but was a failure when it released in theatres two decades ago. Today, it is considered a cult classic. Why ? Check out the video.





4. Killer Klowns from Outer Space ( 1988 )
You know how everyone is talking about 2012 being the 'End of the world' and all that ? Well, if it's going to happen, I'm pretty sure, it's going to be due to an alien invasion. From Klowns ( with a K ). Killer Klowns. Killer Klowns that shoot killer kotton kandy ( Just writing that last sentence makes me feel like a poet.
And you think that's the end of it ? Check out the video below to see how kreative our komical buddies kan be while killing people. ( Seriously. Can nobody else see my poetic wizardry at play here ?



3. Sharktopus ( 2010 )
Another classic from the Syfy stable. Remember the mythical creature, the mermaid, where you had the top half of a woman and the bottom half of a fish ? The legendary minotaur that was half man-half bull ? Or the Egyptian sphinx where you had a half man-half lion ? 
Well, somewhere in that Syfy studio, is a genius writer who decided it would be fun to see what happens when you give a shark an octopus' ass. The result ? check out the video yourself.





2. Troll 2 ( 1990 )
A family is under attack by lots of small goblins who are actually vegetarians but want to transform the family into plants so that they can eat them. 
Yes, you are allowed to read that line again. That's the plot of Troll 2. There is an actual documentary called 'Best Worst Movie', released in 2010, dedicated solely to this film. People with no acting experience who answered the newspaper ad became the main characters, the director and crew couldn't speak proper English yet demanded their script be unmodified by the cast and the graphics and acting were amazingly bad. The scene below is also often referred to as 'the worst piece of cinematic acting ever.' Ouch.
A funny trivia : there are actually no trolls in the movie, only goblins called Nilbog. ( read it backwards please to see the director's creativity. )




Now, this movie has been voted the 'Best worst movie' and even had a screening 2 decades later in 2007, just so that people from all over the world could come and enjoy how bad a movie this was. 
And yet, it's only number two in my list. So who gets the Oscar, you ask ?


1. Jaani Dushman - Ek Anokhi Kahani ( 2002 )
I will never stop laughing at the unbelievable madness that is Jaani Dushman. Mind you, we have always had a few funny Ramsay horror films and 'Rajnikanth-action' movies, but let's dissect this movie down, shall we ?
  • Cast : Akshay Kumar, Sunil Shetty, Sunny Deol, Manisha Koirala, Rambha, Sonu Nigam, Arshad Warsi, Aftab Shivdasani, Amrish Puri, Aditya Pancholi, Sharad Kapoor, Raj Babbar and finally Armaan Kohli, who has the main role
  • Plot : Following a curse by a rishi for disturbing his prayers while they were dancing, two snakes ( yes, snakes ) get separated across lives and the female snake becomes a college student who gets raped and killed by someone, but wrongly blames her fellow college friends for her death. It's now time for her snake boyfriend to avenge her death by killing basically all the youngsters in that cast I just mentioned.
  • Graphics : I don't know why you all make such a big fuss over Bollywood graphics. We have such brilliant Special effects in this movie that it's hard to describe. Terminator 2, The Matrix, Mission Impossible 2 - these are just some of the movies that stole from this awesome one. ( or maybe vice-versa. I forget. )


Remember the part in Terminator 2 where the T-1000 chases Arnold and the kid who are driving away in a car. Well, at 3:16 of the video, you can see why our desi Terminator is smarter than that machine !! I especially love how he 'grows' sunglasses to avoid the shade while chasing his victim. At the end of the video, you will also get to see a fun place to well, store your bike, in case of parking problems.


Mind you, this is just one classic moment of the film. Here's another.




Don't ask me how Akshay escapes stabbing and drowning ? Just appreciate the brilliant acting.

Don't get me wrong. It is not an insult. I would watch this movie if it came on TV anyday. You can show me 'My Name is Khan' and I will yawn halfway through. You can show me 'Ready' and 'Tere Naam' and I wouldn't last half an hour. I would get bored by the melodrama of Devdas and the action of Don 2. But this movie ? No way am I changing channels !

Now, remember the funny movie poster at the start of this post ? Do you think people would actually make a movie about killer tomatoes ? Seriously ?

Well, I hope you said yes, because Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was such a big classic about the US army fighting large tomatoes, that it even had sequels - Return of the Killer Tomatoes, The Killer Tomatoes strike back and The Killer Tomatoes Eat France.



Think about that the next time you have a salad !

So, what about you ? Have you ever seen a movie that was so silly, you actually ended up enjoying it ? Do tell.

   

21 Comments

  1. "" You can show me 'My Name is Khan' and I will yawn halfway through. You can show me 'Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna' and I wouldn't last half an hour. I would get bored by the melodrama of Devdas and the action of Don 2. ""
    WHY ONLY SHAH RUKH KHAN ????!!!
    Anyway I feel pitiful to the one who shares the television with you :D
    Btw awesome list u have there. You are an encyclopedia.I've never heard of the above movies ;-)

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    1. That came out unintentionally.. have changed it to add some other movies :)

      And yes, the people I recommend these movies too have the same opinion. Months later, they come all happy and laughing telling me how they watched these movies and couldn't stop laughing the whole way :) !!

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    2. LOL you should put this on appletini as well :D Btw hpw do you categorize your writings to Godyears and Appletini ? Thats one heck of a task ! Talented people and their problems of plenty ! Sigh !

      Delete
    3. This would ideally have been an appletini post, definitely. Just wanted to get out of the doctor post and back to normal 'godyear' posts :)
      Don't worry, there are a few fun appletinis coming up...

      Delete
  2. Try Hobgoblins next..

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  3. Of All i love Jaani Dhusman what a movie. i wonder how the director and other people came up with the idea.

    its like a fun movie for me

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    1. I am not kidding.. there are so many hilarious scenes in this movie. If ever you come across it on tv, please don't miss it :)

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  4. lol...jaani dushman..!!! OMG.... its real fun !! hats off to such a brillant idea and acting.... no 1 can beat that :)

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    1. Don't you just love Sonu Nigam's acting in the second scene.. don'tknow how he missed the Filmfare awards that year :D

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  5. If you see Telugu movies then don't miss GOLIMAAR....perfectly suits the bill to the T for above describe movies.

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    1. Don't watch it as such, but definitely will check YOUTUBE for any scenes :) Any particular jhakaas scene I should be aware of ?

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  6. *gulp* You actually saw all those movies?!? And you are still normal??????? Didn't aliens come down on earth and take you away to make you their sardar??

    I have had bad experiences but these are 'near to death' experiences! How come you dint watch Hisssssssssss and Himesh Reshamiya movies??? Tell tell.....Bolo bolo!!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. CD, haha... saw all of these and then some before choosing. That too, not necessarily on tv.. downloaded those I couldn't find :D

      As for "am I still normal ?", that depends on whether I could have been considered normal before !

      I did watch Hissss... found it boring, inspite of her 'lack of outfits'. Same for most Himesh movies. It shouldn't be boring, it should be hilarious.

      One close contender in this list was HAUNTED 3D : Guy magically travels back in time to save a ghost who was being raped by another ghost for the last 80 years !! In the end, inspite of the idiotic script, it had a few decent scary moments so I decided to give it a break :)

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  7. Any reason why Jaani Dushman was not the official entry for the Oscars???
    And you should seriously try the telugu movies.. You'll know how the Hollywood shamelessly copied the action sequence!

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    1. It's a conspiracy obviously..if they allow it to reach the Oscars, people will realise the truth - that Terminator and Matrix are cheap imitations. I guess the same applies for Telugu movies too, eh ?

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  8. THe one which comes instantly to my mind is Pirhana 3D. My wife and I were in utter shock when we saw this in a theatre. There was this scene where the fish chew off the penis of a man and while it is floating down the water, two of the fish come from either side and bite it off in two halves and gulp it down!
    To add to the fun, there was this woman sitting in the row ahead of ours and was laughing like crazy. She almost fell off the chair.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. hehe.. Piranha was just the kind of film that would make it to this list. Mind you, I'm quite sure, I saw a trailer of Piranhas 2 ( starring David Hasselbatch of Baywatch ) awhile back... it looked like crazy fun too :)

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  9. Wow!!!! what a plot! :) :) :) i am gonna download jaani dushman and watch it.

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    1. You really must.. such a big star cast of superstars that too, with such brilliant graphics and mythology-sci-fi-romance-revenge-thriller all mixed together.. what more can anyone ask for ?

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  10. Excellent post doc. Very well written. Throughly enjoyed reading it :)

    Here's my site: http://movieroundup.in/

    ReplyDelete

So what do you think ?