11 continous idli breakfasts. 11 continous idli dinners.
29 kms walked in the last 7 days according to my android phone's workout app.
And I step on the weighing machine to find out the obvious - that I've gained 0.4 kgs.
I was staring dejected at the green numbers flashing before me when one of the staff walking by came up to me - "Tee hee hee ( technically, it's more of a heeen heeen heeeen ) gained weight, sir ?"
I smiled at her "No. My weight is the same. I had just increased the memory in my mobile from 8 gb to 16 gb card. I wanted to see if the weight increased."
She went doe-eyed. "Really ?"
"Ya. It's 0.4 kgs extra."
"But those memory cards are small no, sir ?"
"That doesn't matter. What matters is the internal storage. 16 gb is twice 8 gb na. Plus I put lots of songs and movies and tv shows in my memory card. If I delete them, it may decrease by 0.2 kgs."
"Hmm. You're correct sir. I also added some songs recently in my mobile and I was thinking that the mobile was feeling heavier in the purse."
"Really ? I mean, of course. Definitely. Longer the song, heavier the mobile."
"Those shopkeepers don't tell these things when we buy it."
"I know. Rascals."
"Thank you, sir. I'll go delete some songs now itself."
"Good idea."
Don't get me wrong.
I love a simple minded girl. Having been labelled a simpleton who can be easily manipulated all my life, I relate to their sense of wide-eyed awe and blind acceptance.
As long as it's not insulting, they don't get all laa-dee-dah over being taken for a ride and enjoy the prank in the right spirit. They are the sweetest kind and from experience, I can vouch that it's especially hilarious to watch them scheme a funny prank to get back at you because for them the ingredients for their souffles of revenge is about 50% laughter and 50% friendship ; they are absolutely anger-free.
And I am genuinely thankful for the presence of these kind of people on my life, right from my school to my college days.
People call them (us ?) gullible, naive and dumb.
I prefer a more simpler adjective - good.
P.S. I really need to get back to downloading 5 Mallu songs by tomorrow morning which unfortunately were deleted from someone's mobile or else I will face the ultimate act of wrath and violence - getting pinched on my arms.
Yes, I know. It's a good thing I have life insurance.
Hehe. Awesome post.
ReplyDeleteNot many simple people out there these days.
Cheers
CRD
True.. not as many simple people left out there sadly.
DeleteI have come across many such people and usually I am the brat who leads people to believe such things.. Once I told my friend that my grandfather has snake nursery where he grows snakes to take the venom for its medicinal qualities.. Fun times they are!
ReplyDeletehehe.. during pg counselling, had come across a girl from kashmir who claimed ( probably was true ) that her uncle was the guy who discovered a form of cancer called Kangri cancer peculiar to Kashmir. Didn't want to feel left out so I made up a story of how my uncle helped discover kappa cancer ( cancer famous in Kerala among people constantly eatng kappa ) :)
DeleteYa, we never came across each other or spoke again for the remaining three years of pg life :)
DeleteHaha! She will probably never believe you again! Doctor!
ReplyDeletehehe... story of my life, eh :)
DeleteSeems to have posted it twice! Sorry! The first was from the Note! Lol! The story of us! How many patients run out on us! ;)
Deletetrue. 'follow up' is not a concept these guys take seriously, is it ? Just fix the immediate problem and whooosh ! disappear.
DeleteHaha! She will probably never believe you again! Doctor!
ReplyDeleteHahaha...I would actually also believe a lot of anything like this anyone would say, that's how technologically challenged I am. So I am ready for the next experiment Doctor saab, as soon as I finish laughing on this one...thankfully, I got this one :-)
ReplyDeletegot it ? No, its actually true. The more songs you add, the heavier the card gets, its scientifically proven. Nokia released a study on it just last year.
Deleteplsmakeherfallforit plsmakeherfallforit plsmakeherfallforit plsmakeherfallforit. :)
DeleteThis was SUPER hilarious!! How easily you made a fool out of her..hahhaa..too much
ReplyDeleteaah.. these are just starters... have played much better pranks... and received much better pranks back as well :)
DeleteHe he he... I must admit each time I go home.. my mother ceremoniously weighs my weight to know how much I had gained(most likely) or lost (least likely) since the previous visit.. and I always make sure am in my jeans when I step into that stupid weighing machine.. and every time I give 2 kg credit to my jeans.. she used to buy that initially.. but off late......
ReplyDeleteThis was my first real attempt in a long, long time to lose weight.. if I had a gun, I probably would have shot that weighing machine !!
DeleteI guess there are only two things in life you can be sure will increase constantly .. the price of gold and my weight :D
Lol... I would prefer not to pledge on my weight.. as somewhere deep down... I am desperately wishing.. otherwise :D
DeleteLast option ( and my copyrighted personal weightloss plan ) : Sit inside a grill machine/on top of a shawarma machine and relax and rotate while the heat works as a super-sauna ! Within 2 days, dinchak dinchak, I'm Salman Khan !!
Delete( Doctors note : The following has not been tested on humans yet. Successful animal testing noted. )
You are hilarious... :D
DeleteNo use maskifying me.. if you use my brilliant technique and turn from Katrina to Kareena ( size zero ), I'm still gonna charge you a hefty doctors fee ( bill >/= VLCC rates )... no use saying at that time Kannur, Chinmaya, dosti vosti :P
DeleteROFL!!!!! Absolutely chuckle-worthy!!
ReplyDeleteThanks :p
DeleteLol I actually believe some stuff like that but don't admit it :P I come home and google :D
ReplyDeleteDamn... will keep that in mind if you ever come to me with doubts next time >:D
DeleteCute with a capital c...the story,the prank n the characters..(happy?)
ReplyDeleteYeeeah !! I'M THE KING OF THEEE WORRRLD !! :)
DeleteThanks Reshma... as you will find out, we bloggers are very particular ( weird/bugging/crazy ? ) about people commenting on our blogposts itself :D
I was like that once upon a time, when that became a joke among boys and seniors and was targeted for pranks in a painful and insulting way . I had suffered a lot for being a simpleton and for believing whatever was told to me.From that experience, I am not like that anymore...I guess. Changed a lot because I got fed up of crying and being laughed at !
ReplyDeleteEverytime I feel that Ive become wiser, something or the other happens that shows me I'm still a dunce.
DeleteBut there is a distinction to make here - between fun pulling of the legs by friends and harmful manipulation by people who are cheating you. Sadly, like you, I have suffered and still do suffer infact from the presence of such people in my life...
However whatever is said to me, my first basic instinct is to believe it instantly. I later churn out things either by asking close friends(the ones who dont make fun of me) or making an effort to think out of the box.I have had unbelievably filmy episodes in my life wherein of course I was the fool throughout - and my best friends had the last laugh. Some people just dont know what a prank is - they end up hurting another for life. Experience in this matter, have not taught me anything as I continue to be a fool.
Deletei dont think they can differentiate between playing a prank and actually cheating and hurting people... I came across a few of them very recently and it was deeply disturbing.. they were paying people in gifts and even cash to spread the lie that they all knew was wrong. When faced with facts, they were absolutely calm.. no hint of remorse or anything.. just coolly washed it all off with a "so what! never mind. forget it." it was unbelievable for me..
DeleteIn my life, I've just played one prank on one 'naive' guy and felt super guilty all through it. After that I treated him with a cappuccino! These people are just too sweet, how can we betray their trust!!
ReplyDeleteand Doc, idli will do u no good. chicken khao, chicken! you're a non-vege, right?
Again, as I said in the point above, theres a difference between harmless pulling of leg and manipulative hurtful pranks.
DeleteAnd sigh !! I am the quintessential Mallu i.e. I eat anything that doesnt bite me back.. Theres more chicken than blood in my body ... the idli diet was not for taste, it was part of a calorie control scheme.. as you can see, my body is it's own master and doesnt recognise the system of diet :s
Considering some of the mobiles of today, one should consider leaving them somewhere other than your pockets when stepping on the weighing machine :) Lol! post! As long as one does not cross the limit when playing pranks on naive people I guess its fun for all
ReplyDeletetrue... agree with both points. As long as its within limits, its ok :)
DeleteLol! good post! on another note, there was actually a research done on whether the weight of the cell phone increases when u load it with stuff ... :)
ReplyDeleteDear God !! I am a genius !! Please tell me they found evidence that it increases ! Then I can have something to show for all my lies :D
Delete:) Does she read ur blog? Then u wait for a surprise ;)
ReplyDeleteNaaa.. noone at work knows of the blog... works better that way :)
DeleteFirst things first - condolences at 0.4 kg increase. but make sure that u don't loose hope, continue your idly/dosa efforts! :)
ReplyDeleteAbout the girl - i know! you could find such innocent beings, not so common though, these days. Amongst street smart fellows, they are make u feel so good!
BTW, i am waiting for a mallu-movie review from u. please.... write one.
Wt loss : no use. If I breathe also, I gain weight.
DeleteAbout the girl : Recent events have really made me wonder though - it isnt easy being the innocent type in todays world. You're see as easy pickings to be cheated.
And as for Mallu movie, the last one I saw was Salt n Pepper.. and that too was on computer. Can't remember when I last saw one in a theatre.