Premium Blogger.


I'm not famous for showing off.  
You know, like the time I didn't show off when my short stories were published in Urban Shots  and the Chicken Soup series. 
...or when they are yet to be even published
...or the time I got interviewed
...or that time my name was randomly mentioned in the paper
...or even that time I won a fellow blogger's caption contest
...or just that time I described myself.


Dear God, humility is obviously one of my better virtues.
So, I'll just come out and say it - I have been selected as one of 10 Premium Bloggers (click for link ) on India's largest blogging community, Blogadda.



Big deal ? Hell yeah, it is !
So what does it mean ? Well, I haven't read the fine print but from what I understand, I get the following privileges :

1. You now have to pay a toll for passing by my blog. I'm thinking Rs 5 per visit with Rs 3 for refreshing page. All collected contributions will be donated for a noble cause ( the 'My Hawaii trip 2013 foundation'. )

2. You are now required by law to comment on my blog... or else. I have a tracker. I know where you live. Well, at least which country you live in. So don't make me board a flight/bus/bullock cart and come hunting for you. 

3. You don't have to address me as Roshan or doc anymore. It seems too formal.  Henceforth, I will be known as 'His Highness the Sultan of Blogpuri III'. There are no previous versions, but I just wanted to have a number at the end of my name. So cool. I feel like a new man.

4. I get to handpick two female bloggers of my choice as my personal bodyguards. Anyone with karate and kungfu skills are automatically disqualified. Bad enough I'll have to face your sexual harassment charges without the added humiliation of getting beaten up and pile-driven.

5. No more taxes for me. Plus, my mutual fund selections will automatically perform better than yours. Nya nya nya nya nya naa.

6. If you see me at either Kentucky Fried Chicken / Mc Donalds, you are obligated to give me your fries and burger. Hey, rules are rules.

7. I get to decide who wins the T20 World Cup this year... I'm sorry, this one is classified. I'm not allowed to tell you because of certain silly match-fixing-scandal related issues.

8. If you see me in public, wave and act all excited. Giggle. Fawn. Gush. Blush. I may nod back though I'm not obligated to.

That's it for now. That was page one of the privileges. I'll let you know more privileges as I read them myself. But first, I have work to do. 
There are fries and burgers with my name on them being paid for at a Mc Donalds. 

P.S. Thanks Blogadda. Honoured to be chosen.

P.P.S. To be frank, I really didn't read the privileges in the contract because my spectacles are being repaired presently. This was just a modest guess of what I think I see in Page 1. I'm sure they've included super-powers and the red button which launches our nuclear weapons as well in the next few pages.


51 Comments

  1. Awesome!! I feel super privileged to know (even if only through blogs) published authors!!

    So maybe I should also copy couple of those above mentioned points and post it on my blog. Why? Because I know the authors :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I grant thee certain privileges as part of being a bloggy pal.. let it be noted however that You may not utilise Rule Number 6... the burgers are mine, I tell you !! ALL MINE !! hahahahaha...

      Delete
  2. Hilarious :) and congrats for the accomplishment. Now you get more chances not to show off :)

    Lazy Pineapple

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I know. It's so difficult being a humble show-off in todays world.

      Delete
  3. Hahaha!! Hilarious! Esp. point no. 8.. You'd be surprised to know how many are actually prone to such snobbishness :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never really had an opportunity to meet a celeb so for now, I'll just have to do my best impression of one. :)

      Delete
  4. Womaigaad!! So from now on, I actually get to say that a Premium Blogger comments on my blog once in a while?! :O :O :O *faints due to excitement*

    :P

    Congrats, HHSB III. :) Do the privieges also include a personal trainer who will help you turn into a Hulk (Hogan, not the green one) look-alike?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spaceman Spiff, thanks for using my real name.. and yes, I will continue to comment on your blog but I will be wearing shades so that noone recognises me... paparazzi and all..you understand, right ?

      as for the fitness, well, first I need to get the yellow tear-away shirts and shorts ( hopefully not tearaway )...

      Delete
  5. LOL, His Highness the Sultan of Blogpuri III ! Yay the Sultan himself visits my page often...what an honour I am crying tears of excitement LOL..Such a LOL post ...and yes...congrats...even though I am not surprised that you were chosen. If you are not then who else is worthy to be chosen for that privilege !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks Anita :) Try and control the excitement the next time I stop by :D

      Delete
  6. And where is the speech...u havent thanked us in ur mr.world errr premium blogger speech!!

    so now u might have a blog like bigb ...please dont forget us here on blogger/wordpress :p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haven't had time yet to make my speech... have to inaugurate malls and gyms and all, you know !

      Blog like Big B, it seems... :D

      Delete
  7. haha congrats doc.. oops! His Highness the Sultan of Blogpuri III :D

    ReplyDelete
  8. Congrats and Lol! On those priveleges!! ha ha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks.. and you owe me 5 bucks :)

      Delete
  9. His Highness the Sultan of Blogpuri III!!! LOL!!!!!

    Congrats & lvoed this post :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm so honored to be contributing to your Hawaii trip(for a small commission I could get the population of Oz to start following your blog.What say? *wink wink nudge nudge*)

    On a more serious note- CONGRATS!!! you truly deserve it.Hey please give me some tips on how to get started on blogging.Since I'm currently jobless and blogging does not require me to get my butt off the couch it has high appeal...(Yes my reasons for blogging are truly noble)

    On an even more serious note-(on a seriousness scale of Rakhi Sawanth(0)to Lallu Yadav(10)this question rates a 12!!!)when I meet you do I:
    Giggle. Fawn. Gush. Blush or
    Blush. Gush. Fawn. Giggle or
    Fawn. Gush. Giggle. Blush?
    (Please advice, I wouldn't want to get it wrong)

    Also is swooning and fainting allowed?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nithila,
      You get all the cash from those who Refresh the page ( a healthy 3 bucks ).. so go forth, my minion ! Spread my brilliance to 'em Aussies !!

      Will mail/facebook u directly on the starting advice/options

      And regarding the next question.. SIGH ! You kids... as everyone who would have read the puranas would know, its Giggle. Fawn. Gush. Blush. Thats how Menaka got Vishwamitra, if anyone asks.

      And no, swooning and fainting is not recommended for you first-timers. It needs months of training and Buddhist-karate training before one can sucessfully attempt an S & F, as we pros call it.

      Delete
  11. His Highness! It is my esteemed pleasure to gift you with a wonderful and tasty bunch of jack fruits in recognition and appreciation for the wonderful achievement you achieved in blogosphere by becoming the first Sultan(the IIIrd)!! Kindly accept my humble gifts and present me with your valuable comments! :P :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah yes.. jackfruits.. the jack of all fruits !! His Highness the Sultan of Blogpuri III is pleased with your humble gifts.. I grant you the land between the administration block and dental college in the campus as yours... you may grow mangoes and tomatoes there with the Sultans blessings ! :)

      Delete
  12. There's a word in the dictionary... I think it's narcissism or something... Never fully understood it :)
    Hahaha! When I asked you what the privileges were lol! I thought you were serious about it! Freak!
    Wait till we meet up! Congrats buddy! I think you deserve more than that award!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Narci-who ? Never heard of such a thing, I tell ya !
      Yes, this was what was being written when you asked.. as you can see, I'm brutally honest. :)
      And thanks... lets see when time next permits a trip up there... keep the place safe till then :)

      Delete
  13. Wow, those are huge accolades man!!!
    Wow, congrats, you deserve all of them. :)
    And Hawaii trip!! That is something, a VERYYY Noble Cause :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kshipra ...and yes, feel free to come by again and again to donate for such worthy causes :)

      Delete
  14. Awesome .... how the hell u manage to do this man.... congrats....!!! U are a magic....ian with the words....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks sir.. and this is all small stuff compared to your news.. congrats on the IDCCM :) That's just brilliant.

      Delete
  15. hahahahhah..okayy..i think i am commenting here the first time..
    or have i done that before..?? o_O *scratches head*
    aaaan..nywaaaays...congratulations only dear Doctor..!!
    and before reading ahead..i actually thought there were some
    oh-my-gaaaawd gold priveleges..!! khi khi khi
    funny man thy beee !!
    great stuff your blog..keep writing...keep winning..and keep entertaining..!!!

    cheers !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks... I shall forgive the fact that thy has refused to call me by my new supercool name, Meoww :)

      And as you can see, these are better than gold privileges..

      Delete
  16. heheheheh u r so modest.. they probably derived this word only after checking u out :P :P

    congrats.. u deserve to be there totally :) :)..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks... and I know, right ? I cant believe Websters dictionary hasnt placed my photo next to the word 'modest' yet !! :)

      Delete
  17. 2. You are now required by law to comment on my blog... or else. I have a tracker. I know where you live. Well, at least which country you live in. So don't make me board a flight/bus/bullock cart and come hunting for you.

    Wouldn't mind being caught out on this one. You Owe Tazeen and me a visit!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know.. need to make time for a trip to Bangalore soon.. been ages. Lots going on in life presently... will definitely make it sometime soon.

      Delete
  18. Replies
    1. Thanks.. and looking forward to reading your new book.

      Delete
  19. When it comes to His Highness the Sultan of Blogpuri...humility comes easily....:-)
    Hearty congrats... your highness... and I shall save my fries and burgers for you... pray u'll be blessing the garden city of Bangalore with your esteemed presence some time soon :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. His Highness the Sultan of Blogpuri 'III'... Please don't forget the number. 'His Highness the Sultan of Blogpuri' is such a normal name after all.. like Arun, Sunil, Vijay etc :)

      And as I told Sandheep too, no idea when I'll have a trip to Bangalore next... time and lots of other factors are there. Either way, you'll know when I'm coming - it was a state holiday and there will be parades for me, I'm sure 0_0

      Delete
  20. I would like to apply for the female bodyguard position. please mail me the details :p

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They're quite simple :
      1. Must not know karate/kung fu or any other martial art capable of doing bodily harm to me.. I mean, my assailants.

      2. Must be ready to go undercover to retrieve contact details of hot fans.

      3. Must be ready to wrestle away food items from unwilling people ( kindly refer to Point 6 for further details )

      Ya, that looks like an official list to me. I've left a blank page at the back which you can sign for funs sake.. I'll add in any further details as and when required ! :D

      Delete
    2. 1: I dont know kung fu or for that matter any kind of stuff that involves physical effort.

      2: I have a PhD in knowing too much information about other people

      3:I have a masters in snatching food and eating it at even a faster speed

      What do you think ? :D

      Delete
    3. grading your proforma :
      1. "No to anything involving physical activity". Tick. A girl after my own heart.

      2. "Capable of finding out too much information", eh ? Ok, but if you come across that secret stash of magazines I hide inside the piano, just remember, I read them for the articles, only. That's my official story and I'm sticking to it.

      3. '...Eating it at an even faster speed' !!!! That isn't the idea behind getting to help me wrestle away 'em burgers !

      Ok, fine... you're hired. Quit your job/studies and come on over. My private scooter...COUGH COUGH.. I mean jet will be over to pick you up.

      Delete
  21. I am waving Dr Roshan, can you see? Autograph please!

    Ha, ha...you deserve it. Congrats.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Dr Roshan" ? Who is that, young lady - thou speakth before the one and only HHSB... the third !

      I'm sorry, no autographs before 5pm. My personal spiritual guide has warned me against it.

      And thanks :)

      Delete
  22. Hey congratulations!
    And I am afraid. Very afraid.
    And I read Blogpuri as Bhojpuri. Sorry but can't get that out of my head now. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks... and eww !! Don't remind me of my old acting stints.

      Delete
  23. dear 'His Highness the Sultan of Blogpuri III'... each time i open your blog, u see... i get goosebumps! u see, i feel so privileged and honored and lucky and divine and whatnot - to comment here!

    and many many congrats sultan!

    PS - now that seeing you f2f is not happening, i am giggling and waving at my comp monitor. believe me. won't u?

    ReplyDelete

So what do you think ?