ClassiFiles

by - October 02, 2006

The following excerpts were intercepted from a Yahoo Messenger conference by an alert group of jobless humanitarians calling themselves the Brit & US truth team comprising of Realists against Conspirators & Killers ( BUtt cRaCK, in short ). BUtt cRaCK is looking to sell the below conference between two famous Asian Leaders so that they can pilfer the profits and buy that villa in the Cayman islands they've been dreaming about all their lives. Here for the first time worldwide, is that exclusive conference with NO EDITING!!

Conference :
MushyWushy: You there?
SardarPM: [ angry smiley ]
MushyWushy: What's wrong ?
SardarPM: Not fair. You're cheating again.
MushyWushy: Here we go again. Now what?
SardarPM: We had evidence against you in the recent bomb blastings. And again you're saying it's baseless. Didn't we just go to South America and decide to have a joint anti-terror team. Still you keep doing the opposite once we get home ?
MushyWushy: Chill man,Chill. See, you keep giving me flimsy evidence. Give me solid proof.
SardarPM: Chalo. you tell me, what is solid proof ?
MushyWushy: Ummm..what d'ya have?
SardarPM: How about a confession from our prisoners?
MushyWushy: Please. Gimme a break man. We'd deny it even before he finishes his statement. C'mon. We've been doing it for years.
SardarPM: How about fingerprints on bomb and gun debris?
MushyWushy: Naaa...my CSI: Lahore team would kick your CSI:Delhi butts in a courtroom. And they're cuter too.
SardarPm: MMS clips of the terrorists making plans?
MushyWushy: Altered.
SardarPm: brb.
MushyWushy: ok
SardarPm: Wife's online in next room. She'd come with pakodas. you want?
MushyWushy:No thanks.Give my regards to her.
SardarPm: As if I'd give you pakodas if you asked. [ :P ]
MushyWushy: [:)]
SardarPm: She's asking Mrs Mush to come online. She needs comany for the FIFA 2006 Asian Online Gaming tournament.
MushyWushy: ok. hold on.
MushyWushy: done. She's online.She keeps complaining about the system slowing down and pestering me to get a new model.You should see her, Man, she looks older and older every day. Time for ME to get a new model, methinks.
SardarPm: ROTFL.
MushyWushy: [ smiley showing 'shhhh..' sign ] I have a old girl in the side rt now. Can't tell you who it is because then there'd be WW3.
SardarPM: Really?
MushyWushy: Ya, an old fling. Came across her recently and sparks flew. Her old man aint doing much for her so she turns to me.
SardarPm: Yu da maan.
MushyWushy: I know.
SardarPm: Anyway, dont let him find out. What were we discussing.oh ya, this terrorist thingy of yours.Look, how about a deal . We'll give you Kashmir..and a couple of Union territories too.
MushyWushy: Dude. We both know I dont want Kashmir. I can barely feed my own people. This whole war thingy is just to get rid of the excess bombs we bought from 'our North Western' neighbours [ smiley winking ]
SardarPM: Sigh. I know that. Still. worth a shot. Hmm...I got it.
MushyWushy: ?
SardarPM: We'll legalise your second biggest industry .
MushyWushy: Really..you mean, after al these years, you'll finally do it.. you'll legalise..
SardarPm: Yes, I'll sanction the legalisation of your FAKE DVD making industry. You'll be milionaires in months.
MushyWushy: You promise. The last Pm said the same thing. I gave promises to the DVD MAKING companies. When it turned out to be untrue. Man, were they pissed. Those 2 bomb blasts at the bridge ? That weren't no Afghan terrrists, brother.
SardarPm: [ :o ]
MushyWushy: I know. I know. So can you guarentee me you'll legalise this thing this time.
SardarPM: I'd have to get in touch with the heads of the nations...
MushyWushy: That foreign lady and the orange brigade ?
SardarPM: Duh. No, Bachpan and Rajnicount. Heads of the Movie industry.
MushyWushy: Oh man. Not them again. Forget it. They were the ones who jinxed it last time too. How about another cricket match?
SardarPm: Just cause I'm a Sardar doesnt mean I'm stupid !! Have you seen my bowlers bowling these days. They couldnt hit the stumps if there were 10 of them!!
MushyWushy : [ grinning smiley ] I know. Man. they suck, dont they?
SardarPm: Big time. Hold on. brb
MushyWushy: BUZZ
MushyWushy: BUZZ

Loading the "JIHADI TERRORIST" IMVIRONMENT.
MushyWushy: You there?
SardarPm: Sorry for delay.Nice Imvironment. Was discussing this with wife. She's got an idea.Hol, she'll be joining us soon.
PunjabiKudiPM has joined the conference.
PunjabiKudiPm: Ajji Sasre akaal ji.
MushyWushy: my salute to you too, madam. How's it going ?
PunjabiKudiPm: DEkko ji, suniye to me. I have an idea in my mind.
MushyWushy: No disrespect, only insulting you, but, your previous ideas didn't work out too well, you know. Remember telling me to go on Comedy Central in USA during the promotion of my book. Made a bloody ass of myself. I'm only glad I didnt listen to your "pose nude in Playboy with my book covering my privates" idea.
PunjabiKudiPm: Ajji. Chup kar. You got publicity naa. Yehi to baat hai.
MushyWushy: Ok.Ok.tell me.
PunjabiKudiPM: See, instead of trying to bring proof and waste so much time and money, kyon na hum Online decide kare when you next attack?
MushyWushy: What do you mean ? e-terrorism ?
PunjabiKudiPm: Why not have an online tournament to decide ? You both could play that famous chor-police game ?
MushyWushy: Chor-Police online?
PunjabiKudiPm: Ya, it's got a funny name online..kya hai..haa, CounterStroke!!!
MushyWushy: CounterStrike, you mean. Thats a marvellous idea. What do you say man.
SardarPM: I'm cool with it. As long as it's only us both. No teams.
MushyWushy: cool. But I will have a coach k?
SardarPm: Sure. Do I know him ?
MushyWushy: Hold. He's at home only. I'll get him.brb.
OBL has joined the conference.
OBL: Howdy doody? I'm the coach.
SardarPM: Wait a minute. u're..
OBL: Osman Bean Laddie..umm, I'm Scottish.
SardarPm: Pls. I work in a coalition govt. I know a lie from a mile away. You'r that guy they all want. Wait a minute. How are you hiding from everyone so easily man?
OBL : Are you kidding? I just click "SIGN IN AS INVISIBLE" before logging in. Noone can find me after that ha ha ha. [ big grin smiley ]
SardarPM: Wow.
OBL: yup, FBI, CIA, NSA..all useless against the defences of yahoo messenger man. Tried Orkut. But people could see me the moment I logged in. Made it tough.
SardarPM: Tell me about it. Cant even enter hot porn communities in Orkut because of these damn political advisors. They keep telling 'it'll set a bad image..duh!'
OBL: ROTFL
SardarPm: Oh F%$* !! gtg. Had an onlin meeting with mallika4u aboit 10 mins back..catch u later.
OBL:Bye
MushyWushy:Bye
SardarPm has left the conference.
OBL has left the conference.

MushyWushy: Guess its just you and me again.
PunjabiKudiPm: Goody. Just like old times.
MushyWushy: Lets get outta here. Call me on the private number.
PunjabiKudiPm: 1-800-HornyDictator ? You still use that. You sick freak.[ smiley with tongue out, smiley batting eyelashes ] Ok. Wil call in a minute. Bye
Mushywushy: Bye. I'm waiting.
PunjabiKudiPm has left the conference.
MushyWushy has left the conference.

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11 comments

  1. buttcrack is really onto something this time. oh yeah baby.

    buttcracks rule.

    ReplyDelete
  2. dude, i see u been scrappin me, but i dont hav access to orkut in office which is where i am most of the time nowadays. yea yea... even Gods have offices and work to do.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Gosh!! This one's a laughter riot...thoroughly enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Gosh!! This one's a laughter riot...thoroughly enjoyed it.
    -Krishna Vyas.

    ReplyDelete
  5. hahahaha man this stuff rocks
    '1-800-HornyDictator'
    hahahahaha

    ReplyDelete
  6. That's the funniest political satire I've ever read. Great man!

    ReplyDelete
  7. heheheh Rosh man! this is a proper riot! rocks....keep it goin!!! waitin 4 d next one!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Finally another blog, that shares my passion of Bush bashing and all the other political characters that I am interested in.Good job man!!I will be a regular visitor from now on.
    Best regards
    gowri

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hands down..one of the most hilarious entry i have read in a while...ROTFL

    ReplyDelete
  10. delicious...luvd it mate..


    keep it comin..

    ReplyDelete

Let me know what you think.