I have written over four and a half lakh words in this blog over the last seven and a half years. And yet, I find I don't have the right words to describe what I'm feeling within my heart.


Ruby was put to sleep today after suffering complications related to her advancing age. We prayed for a miracle that never came. From her part, she too showed her love and resolve till the end. Even with no food or water within her stomach for nearly a week, she still stumbled and climbed up the stairs to sleep for a last time upstairs for a few hours as was her routine all these years. She still found the strength in her to accompany my mom for one last walk across the entire compound of the house to make sure there were no intruders who could harm us.
I want to say what's in my heart, but you wouldn't get it... how hard it is just to write just this much. You wouldn't understand why this is the end of an era for me and my family. She was the first dog born in our house, the last in a family tree in our house that dates back to her father's arrival in 1995. In a lifetime that has seen many wild animals disguised as human beings, she was the one constant in our lives that showed us that God still knew to put compassion in his creations. 



Perhaps I can't find the words to describe my pain but I do have words to describe the moments of happiness she has brought into my life: words strung together across seven years of blogposts. And I would like to share them with you one final time.
Carry on, Ruby. You've done your bit here. Now it's time for Heaven to become a little brighter with your antics. Starting tomorrow, it's God's turn to stand by your side and feed you the first drops of milk with his hands every morning. 

44 Comments

Nisha said…
From this blog, I've known her too. May she always keep smiling.. wherever she is..
Rohan said…
Have read about her here before. . Some voids are not be filled, they are best left unfilled. .
meoww said…
:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
i am all teary eyed now..one of my close friends lost her dog recently..i can only the guess the pain.
i had cried terribly when i had lost a cat in my native.
ruby is sure watching over you now , smiling for all the love she must have got from your family.
may her soul rest in peace.
so long ruby :'(
tc Doc.
beingFab said…
Ruby looks like a beautiful dog. Like you said, she's in a better place now. Hope you feel better soon, doc.
Gazal said…
Unmatched unconditional love that so many like Ruby bring into our lives.
Nagalakshmi V said…
i know you loved her deeply. hope she rests in peace.
Binu Thomas said…
My best friend had a dog named Leo. Whenever I used to visit his place, I will sit down and play with him continuously and used to enjoy every moment! Then one fine day, I came to know that Leo died.. I was shocked to say the least. My friend and his family was too shocked to respond. Family, after all..

Well, I guess its time for God to have his share of happiness..
ANJALI.N.KUMAR said…
:( rest in peace
Nirvana said…
hugs my dear...
MiRAGE said…
Sorry to hear about your loss. Be strong, god bless
Wish it were easy though...
Thanks Meow... she meant a lot to us all.
I know... dogs really are the purest example of unconditional love there is...
Thanks Nags.. ya, she did mean a lot.
Ruby's kid's name was Leo.. passed away years ago. And trust me, I know the feeling your friend's family went through...
Thanks for the wishes...
Jyoti Mishra said…
I know how awful you must be feeling ryt now..
I lost my dog 2 years back... and even today sight of a dog makes me nostalgic and sad.. :(
Oh :-( RIP Ruby. So sorry.
Anonymous said…
:( God bless her soul and let God give you the strength to overcome the grief.
Anonymous said…
RIP Ruby. I hope she will find loads of love wherever she is.
it really is a horrible feeling, I will say that.
Ritika T said…
I am sure she is happy and at peace Roshan :)

PS : You should get the last picture framed, its really adorable !
Reflections said…
I'm sorry....I too had 2 dogs back in b'lore and when they died it was bad for a while. We buried them in our backyard and my eyes still sting when I think about them. You take care.
Thanks.. ya, it does still hurt. Avoid thinking of it for now.
You are right, God still knew to put compassion in his creations.... through these lil (sometimes big too) monsters in our life :) Its such a great feeling to have them n life and equally or even more sad to loose them... this article brought tears in my eyes for Ruby n all the monsters who had touched our life and gone away from us.... we had plenty of them :)
definitely one of the best feelings to love and be loved so selflessly. True, like you, have had lots of dogs... since the age of 5 years, if I remember. Losing them never gets easier sadly... but then I guess God needs some help too upstairs.
Came back visiting after a long time and saw this post. Two things immediately connected me - I had a dog by name Ruby and went through the same loss as you (with a different dog though)

Time stood still for a few minutes as I re-lived my memories. You are right, it is difficult to explain those emotions and feelings. Those are yours and yours only. The pain that stays continues to remind how much we loved those wonderful creatures and how much much more they loved us back. Take care.
Thanks. Losing Ruby was tough on all of us. She was there with us for over a decade.. we were used to her presence as a constant factor.
Ruby is like another person associated with you. We readers have known her like that. It must be so painful :-(
She was a major part of the blog over the years... still feel sad thinking of her.
Aditi said…
:( I know this must be so heartbreaking for you and your family! May she rest in peace!
Aditi said…
A year and her memories still fresh no? She is there somewhere still a part of your family!
I hope she's happy too whereever she is...
everyone still misses her. she was born in our house and lived there her entire life...