Her happiness matters to me

by - December 13, 2013


She is just another woman for the rest of the world but to me, she is special. 


Our tale begins many a year ago when we both started off as bloggers. Her thoughts and poetry flowed effortlessly  from her heart while my own hackneyed posts were far less noteworthy. There was the odd comment on each other's blog and then we went our own ways, never really connecting; random strangers whose paths had crossed each other online fleetingly.
I don't remember the circumstances under which we reconnected. I just know that we were on different parts of the globe, going through different emotional trials in our lives and struggling to trust people with our feelings. She was finding out that love was not a bed of roses. I was a veteran of those harsh waters. I don't know why but I needed to protect her back then. I needed to make her realize that her world had not ended. I needed her to understand that the ones like us - who think with our hearts instead of our heads - were not a species doomed to be cheated forever. I needed her to know that she would get through this. 

Tank yu!

I can't explain it to myself, much less to you. All I know is that I want her to succeed in life. I want her to see herself through the eyes of those who care for her, not those who used her and treated her like dirt. I want to break through that wall her low self-esteem hides behind and have the invigorating rays of happiness shine down on her once more. It is no easy process - we both know this - as she takes two steps forward and one step back, scared of an uncertain future.     

Today, she is my 1 AM buddy. When I worry or have a bad day, I know I can talk to her long after the sun has set. We share a funny, unseen bond - we trust each other with our deepest fears and most naked feelings. We aren't afraid to show either our vulnerable or vicious faces to each other simply because we aren't there to judge each other... just help the other rise once more. 

She is witty and naughty, keeping up with my banter, often racing me to my own punchline and turning the tables on me. And yet, she is soft. She cares for people and animals and makes an effort for those who matter to her. And yes, like all fairytale princesses seeking their 'happily ever after', she is beautiful. Oh, it takes a lot of effort not to have a crush on her. Surrounded by her peers, she constantly admonishes herself for her looks  which I find ironical, considering I stare at the mirror watching my belly jiggle when I just burp and still say "Man! I'm a hunk."     

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I worry for her because she has seen so much pain and injustice in a life so young. I want to protect her and tell her the worst has passed but I know that life has a funny way of sneaking up on you so I do the one thing I can...  I give her hope and selfishly take the same from her when I am down. We are each other's safe haven - a person we can turn to for help when we are hurting, for sharing our joys when we are happy and sharing our inner most feelings when we just want to talk. 
Today, watching her rise again slowly, I am proud of her. Her young heart has been hurt, her faith shaken... but she is standing and she is smiling once more, ready to take on the world. Her insecurity persists but it no longer defines her. 

And no matter what, she knows that she will always have a 1 AM buddy who will stand by her side - admonishing her, giggling and smiley-facing with her, chalking out schemes to succeed so that we both end up as successful billionaires a decade from now with sea-side villas in Hawaii beside each other.


When this month began, we had yet to ever meet each other
and I don't know if in the years to come we ever will... 
but it doesn't change the fact that I so badly want to 
see her happy. Her happiness matters to me. 


Author's note: Obviously, this is a personal post. I had written about how people's lives get interconnected in many unseen ways. Looking inwardly at my own life, I realize that it applies to me as well. There are so many online friends I confide in whom I have never met, yet know them better than people I walk beside everyday of my life. 
The gorgeous woman in this post is a true gem who is slowly realizing it herself now. I derive strength from her just as she does from me. And from a blogger's point of view, what better way to let her know she is appreciated than a blogpost exclusively dedicated to her. 

This is my post for the prompt 'People' in WriteTribe's Word of Festivals.

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119 comments

  1. Wow, that truly was a beautiful post. Given the fact that it was autobiographical meant that all the love, respect and affection you share for this fellow blogger clearly came through in this post.

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    1. Thanks man. I guess that did actually make it easier. If I had to write the same thing in fiction, I don't think it would have been half as easy or heartfelt.

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  2. This is beautiful, Roshan. I'm sure you're friend is equally blessed to have you in her life. I've made some brilliant online friends from across the seas - we may never meet in person, but we certainly connect on many more levels than I do with people in my own neighbourhood. Wishing for your friend all you wish for her.

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    1. I have a theory Corinne, one of the few blind superstitions I follow. I believe that the big guy upstairs listens more when you pray for others well-being... I've seen it work that way. Touchwood, if I'm right, then these wishes from the blogosphere ought to jumpstart his divine walkie-talkie and make him think of giving her more goodies in life in the coming days/

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  3. Lovely!!! It is a really good example about how a good relationship can have such a positive influence on a person.

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    1. I agree... I think you do tend to become better when you have true friends whose well-being matters to you. It does change your perspective in many ways.

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  4. This is beautiful and is such a joy to read.

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  5. This is simply awesome. So glad that you have found a friend with whom you can connect, share so well despite the distances. Wishing the very best to both of you! Cheers :)

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  6. My post on this prompt says that despite surrounded by people , one finds difficulty in finding a friend, partner or soul-mate. But you post is a gem and brings a ray of hope. You blessed to have a 1 a.m. friend and your friend is equally blessed to have your company.May all your (& yr frnd's) wishes be fulfilled. And may your relationship prosper.

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    1. I totally agree with you... even if you look at just our Facebook friendlist, there are so many 100s of people there... but how many can you truly confide in?
      You need to be lucky if the answer is even a few handful.

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  7. Beautiful post! I really liked the lovely quotations!

    I invite you to share this link on my FB page where I'm running this discussion where you have to talk about a special and unconventional bond that you nurture and cherish in your life. (Regarding my book Uff Ye Emotions 2 an anthology in which I'm one of the contributors!) Thanks!:)

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    1. Thanks Tarang... glad you liked it. And just realised it now... congrats on UYE2 ! Autograph, please :D

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  8. Forgot to post the link! https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=585623944842232&set=a.336832119721417.76141.334297046641591&type=1&theater

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  9. wow.... loved the post..once again i had a smile throughout.. you write really well, straight from the heart... i get to learn a thing or two from you.. what a beautiful dedication.. it's nice to have such a person by our side...glad i read this..

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    1. I dont have any great vocabulary... so have to stick with simple and straight from the heart :D

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  10. Such a beautiful post. I wish your friend all the happiness and smiles in the world. And hope your friendship stays for ever and ever and ever! :)

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    1. In Hindi, we say 'aapke muh mein ghee shakkar'... so for you, it is 'Ninde vayilla neyy panjh saara!" :D
      Tada, got my friendship post!

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  11. Such a lovely post and I too have made some lovely friends online . Wish you many many more years of friendship :)

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    1. Thanks Sridevidatta.. I think we are blessed that way. We've all made some truly lovely friends online.

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  12. Wow Roshan, this is such a touching story of love, friendship, trust and emotions. Both of you are fortunate to get each others friendship. May this friendship proper for ever..

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    1. Thanks a lot for your kind wishes... and yes, I am fortunate to have her friendship in my life, stabilizing me when I'm down and keeping me grounded.

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  13. That is a loving tribute to friendship seen and unseen :)
    Best regards
    Bhagyashree

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  14. Roshan, that is such a lovely post dedicated to your friend. :-) You both are blessed to have each other in your life and may you both receive your share of happiness. May your friendship stay the same way forever. Online or offline, friendships are a great strength. :-)

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    1. Glad you liked it Rekha :)
      I know I'm blessed for sure. She probably got the short end of the stick, having to put up with my silly jokes and mood swings!

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  15. Both of you are lucky to have each other :)

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  16. Oh what a wonderful way to express appreciation!!!

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  17. Touching... reminded me of my best friend - 1 am friend and ofcourse blogger :)

    Need to speak to him NOW

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  18. That was beautiful Roshan! Strange how we connect to some people in the strangest ways and they tend to become one of our strongest support... Ab unbreakable bond!
    This was truly heartfelt... A lovely tribute to your friendship!

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    1. thanks Aditi... glad you liked it. it really is amazing how some bonds fall into place from seemingly insignificant beginnings

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  19. what a beautiful post,well done

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  20. Really beautiful man! :)

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  21. I am smiling at this end. I totally, completely agree with you Roshan. I have bonded with numbers of people from across the world only through a medium called Virtual world. This resonates..A brilliant take on the prompt :)

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    1. Thanks Sunita... we should be lucky to find our safety nets.

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  22. Beautiful post, both of you are lucky to have found each other.
    Thanks to the blogging world, many of us have found some gem of friends whom we may never have met otherwise :)

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    1. I have always said this whenever asked... the best part of the blogosphere is the lovely people i have met in life who i would have probably never had a chance of meeting under real world circumstances..

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  23. It's actually good to see people actually caring for each other all through the virtual world of Blogging..And the depth with which you described the connection that evolved between you folks reflect that honest Bloggers (who actually feel for each others posts) exist...Great going man !!

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    1. Thanks Soham.. those who think with their hearts instead of their heads will always be mocked... but i would prefer to have them by my side every moment of the way in this journey called life.

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  24. wow!! this post made me smile.....to know that such a caring friendship in its truest form still exists......to know you more as a person...THAT person..... and I connect with this post more than ever, because I found my 1 am friend this way too.....god bless u both!

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    1. More blessings her side, please... I'm good in life :D

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  25. I have no 1 am friend and I think what you both have is priceless :)

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    1. That 1 am friend is still finding his way to u :)

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  26. Nice post about friendship. One has to be really lucky to find such a friend in today's world. Having true friends in life matters a lot. May your friendship prosper and you have more n more such friends both in the virtual and real world :)

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    1. Having a few true friends is any day better than having 1000s of Facebook friends that you can't really trust or confide in...

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  27. Friends are the family we choose. The unconditional love is a treasure. I loved your post, it made me think of my own beautiful friends who live in my heart and are always a call away. Thank you for sharing, Roshan. You are blessed, stay blessed!

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    1. Glad that you have such friends too.. and I agree totally: friends are the family we get to choose in life.

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  28. I had a 1 AM friend for a long time. Sadly, the friendship ended on a not-so-good note.

    You are beyond lucky to have such an amazing friend.May your friendship strengthen with time.

    A long time back, I had read your post titled 'To the stranger I haven't yet met' (am not sure if that was the exact wording) This post reminded me of that !

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    1. I never thought about it but yes, I can see how the connection comes about... Wow. Great memory. That's like a 2007 post :D

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    2. Though the themes are different in some aspects, I guess its the fact that they are written from a very personal point of view and from the heart do give it a similar feel :)

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    3. Seriously! Was it that long ago?!

      Yeah, straight from the heart feel resonates in both !

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  29. I'm glad you both have each other. Here's hoping for the very best for both of you, a little bit more for the gem you've written about for I kinda like her. And Doc, its not your body but your thoughts that make you the hunk you are ;)

    God bless and touchwood!!

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    1. I kinda like her too so I'm gonna let you give her more of your wishes, but only this time, okay? next time, its all for me! :D
      LOL on the next line... I will accept that. Some people have Greek God body and mind of Buddha... sadly, mine is opposite!! :)

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  30. doc....even i hav a friend lyk this....n i seriously wish n pray d same 4 her.....
    she is the most important person f my lyf....i feel v.lucky to get a sister, a friend ....no words to describe lyk her.....
    i would say...god always giv such a friend to evry1 bt its up to us wen do we realise them...

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    1. i so love that last sentence, Sonu... yes, whether we recognise and choose to nourish the trust or choose to let it fade away is what forms the key in the end.
      So many times, we fear how it will be interpreted by the world; whether allowing ourselves to be vulnerable with our feelings and secrets could once more hurt us. But I just wonder... what good is a life if you cannot trust? I've been hurt and cheated in some tragically comic ways but I still need to believe that I can have faith in someone... that I won't allow the darkness and hatred to make my decisions and choices in life.
      Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right... but I will never know unless I give that person a chance, will I? :)

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    2. Doc....yes u should definitely giv a chance....n i think u r going to met that person soon.....:)
      n i m sure this tym u will b ryt...;)

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    3. All in due time :) When it is meant to be, I will be there :)

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  31. You you are lucky to have each other. That was such a heart warming post.

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    1. Thanks... lucky to have found and trusted each other in today's haywire world, I guess is more accurate..

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  32. You are so lucky! Having one true friend much better than having 100 fake friends. Wish you and your friend ,lots of good wishes for your great friendship

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    1. Thanks :D Totally agree... one good friend can bring a smile back on your face when you feel lost and lonely... something that a 100 fair weather friends wont give a damn about

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  33. Written by a heart, to a heart and for a heart :)

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  34. beautiful words, roshan.

    i wish you both eternal happiness with your villa in hawaii :)

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    1. villas... plural. Not to forget, servants to get us our pina coladas while we laze on our respective hammocks - one hunky beefcake topless male servant for her, one blonde bombshell for me.
      Very realistic and down to Earth we both are, you see.

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  35. This is my first time on your blog and I SO loved this post. I liked the honesty with which you have talked about your friendship. That shows your sincerity and openness as an individual too. That you have tremendous respect for this individual is itself the finest tribute that you can bring to your friendship. Am so happy for the two of you and the friendship that means so much to you. God bless you.

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    1. Welcome :)
      I'm not usually very comfortable opening up about my life... but in some instances, it is worth it to make the extra effort to bring a smile to someone's face. And I do really respect this person - that's what made it easier to pen it all down. Of course, getting her to believe she's worth it is like climbing Mt Everest with a sack of elephants!! :) So now even if I ain't around in the future as the Winnie the Pooh saying goes, she's got a letter immortalized in the blogosphere exclusively for her... with so many kind wishes.

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  36. What a sweet post - touched my heart. The world is truly a small place. Soul friends. Thanks for sharing a beautiful story.

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    1. and yes, the world has certainly shrunk over the last decade... back in the days of snail mail and landlines, there was no way to connect with anyone outside your own social circle so effortlessly, was there?

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  37. Internet has done that for us. Made us meet people who we would have otherwise never had. And in their sweet simple ways of life we have found empathy. a most beautiful tribute. I do not who it is but if it were me I would be flying high on cloud number nine..

    Richa

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    1. Will make sure she reads this comment and does an online dance out of appreciation for me, Richa :D
      Any suggestions on what dance she should do are most welcome, of course (mwahahaha!)

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  38. What a wonderful 1 am friend you are! Actually, I'm sure if your friend needed you at any hour, you would be there!

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    1. Don't give her ideas!!! She will read this and then decide to act on it! And I need my beauty sleep!

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  39. :) post preciosa...a guy who can write this vulnerably and with so much heart. Like others on this thread, it reminded me to be grateful for my online friends. I have to say a small prayer for them today.

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    1. Thanks Bhavana... yes, sadly, I am a duffer that way wearing my heart on my sleeve when I choose to be vulnerable.

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  40. Commendable on ur part to pay tribute to your friend. I wish eternal happiness and friendship to both of u:)

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  41. For us, writing is way easier than speaking. And that is why an online bond sometimes become more precious than any other. Here's to blogging, connecting and ofcourse, priceless friendships!

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    1. i agree... i find words easier in prose. I accept it makes me more open to be mocked and teased.. but i find that for those who matter to me, it is important that i let them know they matter... Kal Ho Na Ho, right ? :)

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  42. I somehow felt you were writing about me. I wondered when did we connect. It. was. about. me.
    God bless her. She will rise. No other way to go but upwards. I have risen.

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    1. I hope so Punam... we all touch each other's lives ever so briefly... I don't know where I will be a year from now - maybe a President or maybe dead. I just want her to have something to fall back on during bad times even if I'm not around... a blogosphere version of the safe haven where so many people are wishing exclusively for her happiness.

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  43. This post has been selected for the Spicy Saturday Picks this week. Thank You for an amazing post! Cheers! Keep Blogging :)

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    1. Thanks guys.. this is the perfect cherry on top of the cake for this post for me. :)

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  44. It's simply beautiful when two strangers, who have nothing in common other than how they feel - become very goood friends. These are the type of frndships that you need to cherish most. It's an awesome post.

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    1. Thanks Renu :) And ya, it is an unexpected shot of happiness out of the blue.

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  45. Lovely tribute.Straight from the heart...

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  46. This was a lovely post. I really like what blogosphere has done to all of us. It is a very positive place to be.

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    1. I totally agree... i guess this is one of the few places where the percentage of self centered people are less.. its filled with the creative types. with a heart - always a good combination.

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  47. Radha..loved this post...and i guess every girl s dream wud b for someone to write such a beautiful post dedicated just for her :) So she is one lucky girl!!!!
    Hope this friendship lasts forever and remains one of the most beautiful experiences in you life :)

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    1. Thanks Priya :D
      Yes... tell her stuff like this - dream, lucky girl, beautiful post - etc etc ... will give me leverage when I need to emotionally blackmail her to stay awake late at night listening to me whine!! :)

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  48. Do you have to write prescriptions for your patients? OR do you just make them unconscious??? You write so well, that your patients would be glad to get some lou' out of your prescriptions... Jokes apart, I wish I had someone who cared so much about me or I wish I could care about someone in this manner.... Well written and one of my favorites amongst your posts.....
    Vidya

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    1. No.. sadly prescription writing isn't my thing.. I just knock them out with my smelly socks and bad pjs!
      Thanks Vidya... means a lot :)

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  49. Hey, thats a wonderful friendship to have! And I liked the fact that you didnt name her in the post.. Makes it even more special I think.. All the best for your friendship. God Bless..

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    1. There never was a plan to reveal the name... :)
      Some things are better left for ourselves.

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  50. Lovely tribute. Online friends are always special. We might never see them in real but we could feel so connected with them! :)

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    1. True... they know us better than most of the people around us in real life.

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  51. Aww struck a chord... my 1 am friend now snores away next to me by 11pm.. sigh.. dunno whether to be thankful that the universe bought us together or kick him and get the greater share of the blanket

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    1. haha.. thats an awesome happy ending in my books :)

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  52. Doc... Loved the way you wrote... Straight from the heart... This girl, whoever she is should feel blessed... No matter what she may have in her life in the future, the friendship part of life for her has been fulfilled - By you! She is the luckiest to have a friend like you and I hope she appreciates you as much as you deserve! Blessed girl she is indeed! God bless you doc! And yea I agree... YOU DA HUNK!!! :P

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  53. Lovely doc.. Came to this post today from the Vadi Log Vadi baatein one. Beautifully written and I am sure she would be blessed to have you as a friend :).

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    1. Thanks Aseem... somebody probably should remind her :D

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