The Things We Want #ShortFiction

Dr Roshan Radhakrishnan
61
PHOTO PROMPT - Kelvin M. Knight

"I want it." the little boy said, licking his lips as he stared at the last slice of bread lying on the plate. His mother's eyes however rested on the hollowed out shape her son had playfully carved into the bread.
"I want it too." she replied wistfully, her eyes never leaving the heart within the bread as she stroked the empty spot on her left finger where, a lifetime ago, a wedding ring had rested, blissfully unaware.


Authors note:

Linking this post to  Friday Fictioneers, hosted by the lovely Rochelle Wisoff – Fields. You can find other awesome entries to this week's Friday Fictioneers here.

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61Comments

Let me know what you think.

  1. Awesome. Both Mom and Son vying for the share of the pie. The desire and not sacrifice made this story shine through, doc.

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  2. It says a lot that the thing she wants is now what my art student daughter would call "negative space". Such a wistful story.

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    1. Yes, it is indeed the negative space in the pic that I was looking to factor in, both literally and metaphorically here.

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  3. So much said in so less words. Beautiful

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  4. that ending is so emotional... Loved the way you weaved this story.

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  5. That's lovely. Well written and I could sense the pain too.

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    1. Glad I could convey it in less than a 100 words :)

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  6. Lovely. I wonder who'll get it in the end?

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  7. Lovely. I wonder who'll get it in the end?

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  8. Bitter and sweet. Perspective makes all the difference.

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  9. Sad! :( But what a beautiful take on the prompt! Loved it.

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  10. Dear Dr. Roshan,

    Such a touching story in so few words. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

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  11. This is simple and lovely. Really nice.

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  12. Bittersweet ending. Loved it because I could feel the emotion of both the boy and his mother.

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    1. Thanks Alana... guess the attempt at flash fiction was successful then :)

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  13. I hope she lost him in death, not life!

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    Replies
    1. I had a different ending in my head but it is definitely open to interpretation

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  14. So much emotion in such few words. Beautifully expressed doc!!

    Prasanna from Team Mocktailmommies

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  15. Lovely little story that was, Roshan!I loved the ring part the most. Plus the fact that this is an open-ended story to which everyone can add a different story.

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    1. Yes... I think the best place for the story to resonate in such cases is the reader's mind - each interprets the possibilities differently

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  16. Wow! Less is truly more in this tale. So much conveyed in such few words. For me, it came across as single mother....probably divorced, hurt, and longing for a man´s or companion´s love in her life. This is indeed sad and moving. Loved it! Will be coming back for more such awesome posts. Keep writing! :)

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    1. That is perhaps closest to what I had imagine myself while writing this down.

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  17. Loved it ! The sense of longing is beautifully depicted!

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  18. Wow, so well done! The pain, the longing - all comes out so well.

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  19. Such varied emotions expressed in such a short piece, doc! Superbly crafted!

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  20. Both want the same piece but with a different perspective.. Probably thats the situation what we all humans are in at most times!

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  21. Sometimes a few words make a beautiful story which stays with you for long. Lovely piece, sir. :)

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  22. Hauntingly beautiful Doc. You have a thing for romance, don't you?

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  23. Its first time I am reading fiction from yours. Lovely!

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  24. That's beautiful - different people desire different things even when they look at the same.

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  25. This is brilliance. The way you have put out two different set of emotions in such less words is awesome.

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  26. Hunger and love... So different, so equally important. I wish she had had a better life, and he, the bread, and for both, the heart that was missing.

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    1. I figure he will get his bread soon enough... She would have to wait longer for that heart

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  27. Saying much in few words is an art. New to your blog & completely mesmerised by your art of story telling. Subscribed and shall be back to read more!

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    1. Thanks. Hopefully I will live up to expectations

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  28. Wah doctor sahib :) ... you covered all in 4 line which people take entire novel to make people understand :)

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  29. Beautiful take with two different perspectives ..

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  30. We all crave for love in one form or an another. Beautifully weaved story. :)

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