100 Ways The World Tells You We Cherish Your Presence In Our Lives #SuicidePrevention

Dr Roshan Radhakrishnan

Authors note:

The theme of the 2019 World Suicide Prevention Day is ‘Working Together to Prevent Suicide’. 

In the past, I have spoken about Suicide Prevention from multiple points of view, including what you need to do if you feel the urge to give up on life as well as what you as a friend can do if you feel someone else is considering ending their life.

In most of these cases, the final straw that breaks the metaphorical camel's back is not an acute event. A sense of helplessness and loneliness has been persisting for awhile. We can see the symptoms in their behavioural changes and even social media status updates if we only choose to really look for it.

Ironically, that need for closer scrutiny of what is hinted at holds true for you - the person considering harming yourself - as well. I know you feel alone and think there is no future for you... but I promise you you are wrong. There are people who do care for you. They do cherish their times with you.

suicide prevention list - 100 Ways The World Tells You We Cherish Your Presence In Our Lives

They do cherish you even today.

Yes, maybe the person who you so strongly desire to hear those words from is no longer a part of your life. But in seeking to hear it from them only and considering yourself alone when you do not receive it, you are mistaken.

Do the others not say the words 'I love you' or 'I am happy you are in my life?' Perhaps not. May be we do not say the words out loud - again, that is our fault, not yours - but we do mean it. You need to realize just this much - that there are many ways we say 'I love you' without saying 'I love you'.

There are literally hundreds of subtle ways people around you are showing you even today that you matter to them. That they enjoy having you in their lives.

See if you recognize them.

100 Ways The World Tells You We Cherish Your Presence In Our Lives  #SuicidePrevention

Compromising because they care for you. 

01. Here is the remote. What do you want to watch?
02. I left the last piece of cake for you.
03. You choose.
04. Can we put this behind us?
05. I am sorry for what I did.
06. I am sorry I forgot.
07. I did not mean to hurt you.
08. Can you forgive me?
09. Can we talk?
10. I am heading out. Do you need me to get you anything?
11. Do you want me to come over?
12. I just messaged to say hey.
13. What do you wanna do this weekend?
14. Wassup?

Standing by you 

15. There is food in the fridge.
16. This song reminded me of you.
17. This dress looks good on you.
18. I heard what happened.
19. Do you want something for that?
20. Drive safely.
21. Message me when you reach.
22. Take care.
23. Good luck.
24. Be careful.
25. Get some rest.
26. I know it sucks but just hang in there.
27. I agree. Your boss/in law/ spouse/ friend is a jerk.

You Are on Their Mind

28. How is your family?
29. Did you eat?
30. How was work?
31. How was college?
32. Do you remember that time we...
33. Do you want to talk?
34. I am worried about you.
35. It has been awhile. Just wanted to see how you were doing.
36. I am here if you need me.
37. I will finish up here. You take some rest.
38. Just wanted to see you.
39. I need your opinion on what to wear.
40. How was your day?
41. Good morning.
42. Hey.

Making Time for You 

43. Wanna meet up?
44. Wanna catch a movie?
45. Wanna grab lunch?
46. I am coming over.
47. Let us bunk this class and head out.
48. My Treat.
49. Let us plan a trip together.
50. If you are in town, do let me know. Will try to catch up.
51. I can't make it today... but I am all yours tomorrow after 10.

Directly Telling You You Matter to Them

52. I am sorry.
53. I trust you.
54. I miss you.
55. I am happy for you.
56. I miss how we used to be.
57. I wish we could spend more time together.
58. I did not mean to hurt you.
59. I love how much effort you put into this.
60. I had a wonderful time.
61. I don't care about your past.
62. I don't care what anyone says about you.
63. You matter to me.
64. I want you in my life.
65. I will see you tomorrow.
66. Thank you.
67. I can't wait to see you again.

Intimate Gestures From Loved Ones 

68. Smiling when you stare at them.
69. Winking at you.
70. Laughing with you.
71. Touches as you pass by each other.
72. Cuddles as you lie together.
73. Hugs.
74. Kisses.
75. Sex.
76. Gifts & Treats - because even the material stuff matters, you know!

Gestures of Love That You Take for Granted

77. The dog that wags its tail every time it sees you.
78. The pet that stays by your side because it chooses to.
79. The parent who serves you a hot cooked meal even when you are not on talking terms.
80. The parent who gushes about your achievements to the world even if they don't tell you directly.
81. The parent who annoys you because s/he worries about you.
82. The teacher who remembers you fondly.
83. The one who likes your status updates.
84. The one who actually goes the extra mile and changes that 'like' into a 'smiley' or 'love' emoji.
85. The friend who asks you if you are having a cold when they hear you cough.
86. The friend who gives you space when you ask for it following a fight but is there when you want to talk again.
87. The friend who calls you regularly to see how you are doing.
88. The friend who shares office gossip with you.
89. The friend who makes sure you get home safely.
90. The friend who values your inputs about movies, books and music.
91. The watchman who smiles when you walk past him.
92. The restaurant owner who greets you by your name.
93. The store owner who remembers you from the days you were a child.
94. Friends who send you jokes and memes because they feels you are cool enough to get the joke.
95. The spouse who gives you their undivided attention even their favourite game/show is on television.
96. The spouse who compromises on their food habits because you insist.
97. The spouse who changes his/her routine to suit your schedule.
98. The child who says your name when asked to choose the parent s/he loves more.
99. The neighbour who smiles in a world where people are denied even that grace.
100. The person you don't even know aspires to write like you, sing like you, be thin like you.

The above list may sound silly today but take a moment and think about it. Do you know how many people would yearn to read these words or hear this said out loud to them? Yes, even a simple 'Hey' or ''Sup' can literally be the difference between life and death, letting someone feeling alone know that they are remembered.

A lot goes into stopping an act of self harm. Helping someone contemplating suicide recognize small subtle gestures of love are all around them is one of the simplest yet most powerful way to end the cycle of loneliness that is eating them up from within.

100 Ways The World Tells You We Cherish Your Presence In Our Lives  #SuicidePrevention

If that is you today, know this. Perhaps the one you are seeking love from is not giving it you. But take a moment and look around you and you'll see that love is all around you.

People may not say it aloud but they enjoy your company. Whatever has driven you to this point is not all that you are. You are more than the worst thing that has happened to you.

Take care.
I will see you tomorrow.

 100 Ways The World Tells You We Cherish Your Presence In Our Lives  #SuicidePrevention

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Let me know what you think.

  1. Appreciation, showing gesture is really important. People crave for love in this busy world. These phrases are definitely important to use.

  2. I had a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes as I read this post, doc!

    Just reading these words and reflecting on the times when I heard them from people in my life tells me so much about how special I am to so many people! If this list can have such an impact on me, how huge an impact will it have on someone who really needs to read/hear these words, who may be going through a really difficult/lonely/sad time in their life!?

    This is THE BEST post on suicide prevention, ever! Really! For, it's just words that can change a mind, a heart, a person's mood, in fact, everything!

    Love you for writing this post, doc! Hugs!

  3. This is one of the best post I have read this month. I did not need this post but still reading it made me think of and thank some dear friends and family in my heart. I also realized that so many times we ignore the signs from some one reaching out to us and we should never let any message without a lovely reply < even if later> .. we never know what message was a hand reaching out to pull the other from his/her dark thoughts.

  4. There are so many ways of saying We Care. Your list is beautiful. A person going through rough times needs a sign to step back from the edge of the cliff. A simple , how are you?, can be that sign. In our fast paced life we forget those who get left behind. Today I will send a message, call, connect somehow with some people I haven’t heard from in a while. Maybe they are fine and just busy with life or are feeling overwhelmed with life. Your post Is a reminder that a kind gesture or a genuine warm greeting can make a dark day feel bright for those struggling with issues in life. May you continue writing such brilliant posts and spreading hope and positivity around. Bless you.

  5. Dear Roshan,

    I've loved all your posts on Suicide prevention from the past. This one is such a lovely compilation So very heartfelt.
    These words are so meaningful, even to those around us who are in a good place.

    Thank you for this writing oozing with wisdom.

    God bless!

  6. Social connections help us live longer, stronger and happier lives. With small gestures and kind words, we can make a big difference in the lives of those who are vulnerable to suicide. Thanks for this meaningful and comprehensive post on suicide prevention!

  7. Sometimes all they need is the knowledge that someone cares. That they're not alone. That there are people who'll have their back, no matter what. Great post, sir.

  8. this is such a lovely post ..so heart warming.. only if people practiced it.. !

  9. This is a brilliant piece Roshan and should be a must read post for everyone when you feel low. It will help one understand that world cares for you and needs you.

  10. Yes, love is all around us. We tend to overlook them because we are so adamant as we seek love only from the source that we desire. I loved the gestures you mentioned, Doc! If only everyone would think like you and I. Thanks for sharing this wonderful post!

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