Is pre-marital sex okay?
“It is okay provided the couple are in love and in a deeply committed relationship.”
“As long as they are planning to get married, I guess.”
“It is today’s world. After seeing all these Western shows and movies, today’s youth would be influenced…”
You know what the scary part is? That the above statements are from those defending pre-marital sex. You are defending it and yet you add so many caveats. Contrast this to the naysayers and defenders of mankind’s pre-nuptial virginity.
“It is against our culture.”
“It is against our religion.”
“It is a sin.”
“It is because of chowmein.”
There is such a surety about their convictions, even if it is as absurd as claiming food and mobile phones as causes of pre-marital sex. You know that they are not going to budge. Sex without matching horoscopes or a wedding ring is obviously a crime that warrants the death penalty in their heads.
If you believe that your sexuality is your choice, stop trying to defend it half-heartedly because you fear society, religious values et al. Take a bold stand. When you add riders like “should be in love”, “should be deeply committed” etc, you are missing the whole point of the conversation. Look around you. Can you honestly say that every married couple around you is in love? That there is a deep sense of commitment between them?
|Image source: FashionPlaceFace.com|
You and I both know that you answered in the negative. But the social norm is that even if you cannot stand the sight of each other, you must go to bed and engage in sex with him/her because of the marriage certificate. On the other hand, a young couple in love cannot kiss even though they are strongly attracted to each other because ‘that would be wrong.’
This is where you lose me. You look to shame an expression of love/desire/attraction between two consenting adults yet say ‘it happens’ when physical abuse/marital rape/subjugation in a marriage occurs and counsel the mentally scarred victim to stay in the relation.
You can quote all the scriptures and verses you want but you just have not factored in the basic attributes of the human heart and mind: every heart yearns for love, affection and intimacy; every mind yearns for a compatible partner. You cannot pinpoint why two people are attracted to each other just as you cannot gauge the true depth of emotional commitment between any two people. I won’t even accept that this is a ‘problem of the new generation.’ Pre-marital sex has been going on since centuries and has little, if anything, to do with the advent of mobile phones, chowmein or tv shows. You cannot switch off puberty and all that comes with it, just because you think it is wrong.